So I’ve been told I have anxiety. But is it really anxiety or just excitement of life? Do I babble? Yes I do when I get nervous. But if you look at most people in this world they do the same thing. Do they have anxiety? Do I hyperventilate? No I don’t well I do if my ex comes near me or one particular type of occupation uniform wearing person comes near me. But that is it. I just throw up on them and most times they will go away. “Thank God” I really mean that I really do thank God for that.
Now am I socially awkward? Yup I can’t deny it I am so socially awkward it hurts. But in my time of growing up I had a certain disability that was not acceptable and my parents would not take me out to be around other people I was not allowed to go play with other kids in the neighborhood. I at a young age was left at home by myself. Not being around people is not a good thing. But let’s look at this from my point of view here. It help me create an awesome imagination I can come up with more way to entertain myself. I write stories that my coworker love and beg for new books. I don’t go to bars spending tons of money on alcohol. And my life is simple not full of drama.
but. Yup here’s the butt that everyone loves. Do things that happen shock me overwhelm me. Yes because I’m a million years I can not think people would do or say the things they do. Now on the other hand I have been secluded so much from this worlds uglyniess that I think that is what most of the problem is. See I’ve lived in my beautiful and wonderful world for so long and have only had to come out to...... I’m not sure what to call it. My children say I’ve lived a sheltered and secluded life,and I still do thanks to them. I’ve just started living on my own and this world is nuts. Yet it’s so beautiful. With so many wonderful new things for me to discover. Do I get overwhelmed yes I do. Do I stay away from people yes I do. Would I be the happiest person alive living in the woods by myself. I don’t think so because we all need human contact. I am not immune to it. Do I fit in this world no I don’t. Am I terrified of this world. Yes but isn’t everyone in some sort of away or another. Would I ever speak up for myself nope I just take whatever it is. Am I a door mat yup that’s me. But I am the happiest door mat you will ever meet.
do I keep to myself? Yes I do. Do I avoid social gatherings? Yes I do.. do I avoid trouble yes I do. Am I quiet and mind my own business? You bet I do. Do I not get involved? Yup that’s me also. Now because of this and because social things scare me I am told that I have anxiety and need medication. But yup here it is again. I love butts.❤️
I had a.... oh for the love of potatoes. I’m not sure what he is but to call him a person. Anyway a nice person from this site told me after talking well texting me for a while. That I have never Felt safe or been protected in my whole life. I’ve given that a lot of thought. I’ve never felt unsafe. But I think he is right about this. I don’t think me or half of the people that have been told they have anxiety have it. We just... well unprotected. And have been for so long and kept ourselves in isolation for so long that when life happens or what we think is OMG because we live quiet and peaceful lives takes out of our norm. We just fall a lot farther than most people. So we don’t have anxiety we have moments of this WORLD and PEOPLE Are CRAZY!!!!!
