Wandarae

Plain Jane

Well I am just a plain Jane with simple thoughts. Bdsm is new and I love learning about it. One day I may have a relationship. I have tried a couple of times but have come to realize I get attached fast and that is not a good thing. So for now going to continue my learning.

50 shades of gray ??

3 years ago. August 2, 2020 at 4:17 AM

Well here I go against everything I know to be sane.
so on here I have read everyone’s views on fifty shades of gray. But no one yet has brought up a whole different point of view on this book. I have seen the movies and I have read the books. Now on the movie side I see your views. BUT “yes you all know I love BUTT one of my favorite words” when you read the books. Or when I read the books I got an entire different view on them.
See I got that he was abused as a child and then as a teenager. BUTT he used the lifestyle that he was taught by his abuser to get release and he used it not only to get release but to make it work His own way.

isn’t that what we all do. I’m new here and I know I don’t know very much about all of this. But I got out of the books a broken man that used BDSM to find his way in life. And honestly isn’t that what all of us are doing. Just wanting to feel. We just want to feel something, anything. I know, I know I’m a nut I don’t fit in. I will probably be the cages enemy number one from this blog. I didn’t get interested in BDSM from this movie or this book. I didn’t get that from the books. If I got anything from the book it was tears. Because someone was abused as a toddler and a child and he was able to come from a messed up childhood and move forward and find his place. Maybe there isn’t any hope for a softhearted dork like me. Maybe I won’t find Mr. Wonderful. But I’m never going to stop looking at this from a different point of view. I mean let’s look at Christian and not Anna. I mean it does show that boys can get raped and molested not just girls. And it shows how he used this lifestyle with different thoughts to make his life work.
Maybe someday this Humpty Dumpty will be able to be put back together. Just like him. But for now I’ll just be cages enemy number one.

Aquarius Dom(dom male) - You are correct in your description, I have nothing against the said book or film or the characters!
It’s the flood of total wannabes of both sexes that it has spawned that rankle with me !!

3 years ago

Max Sterne(dom male){Morley} - First let me address butts...oh do I ever have a thing for butts!!! (and boobs, and legs, and feet, and...but I digress...)

First let me say that I never read the books, only saw the movies. So I am only speaking for those.

For myself the character motivations are no problem. He finds himself as a Dom. Its all good. Not exactly what I relate to, but I can understand it. For myself it is the rookie mistakes this allegedly "experienced" Dom makes that makes me roll my eyes.

First, and I gotta say this, a masochist friend would have called them both pansies for those "fierce" 6 lashes with a belt. Now I understand that Anastasia is not a true masochist (no she isnt, if you think she is you never met a masochist), but if it was truly too much why didnt she safe word out? A friend suggested she forgot her safe word because she subbed down too far. But as I pointed out an experienced Dom tells a sub that her 1st name is always her ultimate safe word because you do not forget your first name.

So it is things like that (there are other parts) that make me cringe. It feels, to me at least, like the writer read some general online articles that explained BDSM in the broadest possible terms then wrote a book about it that became a movie.

Now let me say if you or anyone else loved the movie that is great! I am very happy you did! But please understand why people such as myself did not.

And I so do not hate you. I RESPECT you for sharing something you like! 😊

3 years ago

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - Actually, it is possible to forget your first name (to be fair, it happened to me post seizure but
...... IT IS POSSIBLE!).

3 years ago

Max Sterne(dom male){Morley} - Thats why you use your 1st name as an ultimate. If you have medical problems so severe you forget your 1st name you shouldnt play.

3 years ago

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - My seizures were unexpected. I had forgotten my name prior to knowing why I was seizing. It was second one.

All I'm saying is that it IS possible...oddly, I knew that my then husband knew who I was...but I had no idea.

It is also possible to go so deep into space that the part of the brain that controls speech, the Broca's area (located in the left temperol lobe) can shut off and you are physically unable to speak.

It happens to me every time I enter sub space. It's just impossible for me to speak. It's no one's fault. It's a biological response.

3 years ago

Max Sterne(dom male){Morley} - Medical conditions happen and a Dom needs to be aware and on guard for them. I have had 2 very dangerous events happen to me once while I rigged and once during a public humiliation (I feel a blog coming on, lol), but I was fortunate enough to get out in front of them before they got away from me.

But as for the ending of that show I do feel, as do a great many people I know in the lifestyle, was unrealistic. It taught a great many bad habits which many new people believe are real. We deal with this all the time at the Garage in Tacoma and the CSPC in Seattle (formerly the Wet Spot for old people like me) when we get new people.

Please play safe and I enjoyed our chat! 😊

3 years ago

Wandarae - I’m going to take it that you msg. Is open for question. Please!’b

3 years ago

WhatamIfightingfor(dom male) - I unfortunately did not get as positive of an impression of their relationship in my research into the books.

3 years ago

Untamed SJ - My comments are going to be so different from the ones above.

I did not read the book or see the movie. I chose not see the movie because "Hollywood " somehow changes the story and it does not even get it close to the book. All that movie did for bdsm was create alot of fake doms who take advantage of new subs.

I am going to read the book just can see why he become a dom.
I respect you for even writing an article about a touchy subject about bdsm and doms (true or fake) ones.

Keep writing my friend. 😀

I neve

3 years ago

sexycurves(switch female) - I'm so glad you posted your thoughts. I, too, saw Christian as a character rather than a wannabe Dom as many have said. I have read the books, but not seen the film.

I saw a man who was abused by a Domme, who grew to use what he learned in his sexual experiences. Ana, on the other hand, was a virgin and completely unaware of BDSM.

Both of them together communicated, grew and fell in love. Of course there were mistakes along the way - that's expected.

It is unfortunate I think that people have zeroed in Christian being a wannabe Dom and abusing Ana. What about Ana's journey as she discovers she is submissive and enjoys BDSM? She also values herself enough not to be bound by a written agreement and calls him out as and when needed.

As everyone says, this story has resulted in people claiming to be Dom/me and sub before they have even explored and experienced and understood what that means - I think it's a shame. It is the very reason why I haven't labeled myself as either Domme or sub.

3 years ago

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