Accessional diary of a dyslexic dom.

There was twelve of us for Christmas dinner, also a mix of young and old, Muslim, Jews, Buddhists and one confirmed atheist. We also had a home cooked curry AND a traditional Christmas dinner. I am border line reclusive most of the time, so it was all rather strange, but it was Ok.

My mother was not in great health. She has an inner ear infection, so she can not walk at all, and she is severally short sited and deff. I had not noticed before but she seemed very isolated. She could not see much and she could only talk to whoever sat next to her. I do not want to say too much about my nephew, but I found out some more about his illness. Poor kid has literally been through hell, as has his parents.

So, family, I will drop in on them again next year. 

I am going away for a few days (and not taking my computer) so please do not write anything good until I get back.

Happy Christmas one and all.

Just trying to think what my favourite Christmas songs are. Fairy Tale of New York was a great song. I used to like the Slade song but now I think it is a bit poncy. Happy Xmas, war is over, John Lennon, was quite good. Driving Home for Christmas, Thats about it. I used to like Christmas songs when I was a kid.

So my computer was off for a few days because I ran out of dater. It was not a problem but then it refused to come back on, I tried everything I could think off. I phoned Three and the man told me to restart start it, which is done by puting a pin in a hole in the back of the modem. I looked everywhere but I do not have a pin. I felt positively under privileged. Surly everyone in the world has at least one pin, but not me. Eventually I bent a paper clip; it fitted but it did not fix the problem. I phoned again, the lady told me to go to the nearest Three store. By this time I was close to insanity (seriously) then. . . It started to work (no idea why). This is the unwritten law; you have to be write on the edge of insanity before things suddenly, for no apparent reason, start to work. 

Later I put my back out. No idea how it happened. I was not lifting anything at all. I am meant to be going to London next Tuesday; it might be better by then, but then again, if it is not, there is no way I can manage a long train journey.

Cant think of a bad enough word to end with. 

Junk food,

hot baths,

sleep,

TV,

videos,

walks,

lunch with friends,

lying down,

more junk food, more sleep.

I am completely devastated, really, I am not equipped to deal with this level of disappointment. It is like the difference between hope and hopelessness.

On the one hand I do want to keep politics out of my blog, but on the other it is my blog and it is about whatever is going on in my life at any given moment, so at the moment politics just blots out the sky. But on the third hand it doesn't. The sky is the same colour it has all ways been, the wether is cold but Wiltshire is as beautiful as ever.

Politicly, in the UK things are as bad as they could be. A part of me wants to move, I mean how do I live with people who are literally destroying their own country. How do I go into a shop knowing that the man serving me. . . Well you get the idea.

If this makes no sense sorry but I have not proof read it at all. 

I thought for a long time that we, humanity, we're beyond saving, then I beloved that we weren't, but now it seems like we are and perhaps it is for the best. Maybe we will freck, or pulute the planet until it is uninhabitable. Maybe the health service, the police force will literally collapse, mob rule in the streets. thousands of people in agony, on trollies, in hospitals (if it is not all ready that bad). We wanted to prevent all that, but what the hell; if this is what the majority wants, bring it on. A homeless man in every doorway a thousand hungry children in every class room. Let's pile up the filth and suffering into mounters of filth and suffering, until even the stupidest of the stupid finally get it. 

Sorry but if you don't like my politics then go and read another blogg. For tonight at least, I just don't care.

So, someone ghosting me again. So frustrated I am going to start swearing now. what actually is the fucking point. I really thought it was going well, she seemed very enthusiastic, very willing. She gave me her watsapp number which I thought definitely indicated long term interest. Then suddenly no reply nothing. I have no idea what I did.

However: That does tend to be one of the most visible symptoms of asbergers, that we do not know what we have done. It is always obvious to other people but we just don't see it. Also it always seems to happen after about a week to two weeks so I am thinking, (in the still rational part of my brain, whirl the rest of it is screaming and braking things) is there something that I do after around that time? I realise that no one on here could possibly know but if anyone would like to take a guess then I would appreciate it.

Or is it nothing to do with asbergers and I am just a dick. I am open to that possibility!

I am also thinking of finding a nice cave somewhere and becoming a hermit.

I know that I have made this humerus but, to be honest, I am on the verge of tears. I think it is OK for men to cry these days, but I don't very much.

I did not know that today was thanks giving, Happy TG to all my newish American friends.

I have gone right off turkey but maybe I will have a chicken sandwich later.