Accessional diary of a dyslexic dom.

Do you ever have one of those, we'll three so far, of those days when technology just starts to hate you? Well my printer is ancient so not surprising it won't work as a printer any more (it might work as a scanner. I will get back to you about that). my computer is not doing most things and my new camera is having teething troubles and not taking photos. That is the thing with technology; If it is new it has teething troubles. If it is old then you need a new one (which will inevitably have teething troubles) and the gap in between gets smaller and smaller.   

Below is something that I was moved to put on a forum discussion. My original question was what is the difference between humiliation and degradation. I was amazed by how deep and intelligent some of the responses were.

I do not know if it is considered good form to turn forum comments into blogs, but then again why not?

It is a terrible thing to confess but I started out as one of those people who see BDSM as an easy way to get laid. Infect it is a deep and complex world of emotions and interactions. I am always amazed at what I learn from people on this site. Thanks all.

However I think you will agree that both people - the degradee / humileatee and the degrader / humileater - need to be ready and to. . . Maybe genuinely care about the other person. Otherwise it could go horribly wrong.

1. Went to the docks this morning, had trouble with my stomach for a while (I know you all want to know this). He put it down to stomach acid. I suppose I will be on an old mans diet now: No salt, no sugar, no fat, no sex, I am already not supposed to have wheat or dairy or red meat, and no fat. Maybe I can just curl up in a ball and die somewhere, would that be OK!!! Seriously though how do you cook a chicken breast with no fat, and not end up with it tasting of boiled newspaper (any answers much appreciated).

2. So I am talking to a very nice girl on Fetlife. She is very pretty, young and good natured so, of cause I am suspicious. I think the saying is waiting for the other shoe to fall (why I do not know, what has shoes got to do with it) but still, you never know.

Ow PS. Has anyone ever used Hangout? I have read that it is not very secure.

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==

100% Dominant
100% Sadist
97% Rigger
89% Degrader
78% Master/Mistress
55% Voyeur
53% Non-monogamist
52% Daddy/Mommy
47% Owner
39% Ageplayer
37% Exhibitionist
36% Brat tamer
34% Experimentalist
18% Vanilla
5% Primal (Hunter)
0% Switch

I would not call my self a rigger, other than that its quite accurate but so what? It's like taking a test to find out what my favourite food is

Also there are several sites that offer these tests. Does anyone know, are they all the same? or which is the best?

So, I might have written about this before (and maybe will again) but WHY DON"T WOMEN LIKE ME. I mean just a bit. I don't mean hundreds of nubile twenty year olds. I am really not hard to please, but I am not pleased, not at all. Things seem worse than ever, literally no one is talking to me, or I get a three word message and then nothing. I suppose, at least, they are not ghosting me. You can not really call it ghosting if there was only three words to start with. 

I keep thinking, am I doing, saying something wrong. Is there some massive turn off that only I do not know about. I suppose it is partly my age, but lots of girls say they do not care about age (on Fetlife I am a member of 20 groups that are for older men and younger ladies). I suppose a lot of people will say that I am too whiny. I do my best to stay cheerful. I am rather depleted at the moment, because I have literally been sick for two months, except for the week that I went to my sisters. Then I was sick again as soon as I got holm. So I know I am sounding whiny, but be nice, I am not at my best.

So it is almost 4. 00 AM here in the UK. I am watching Lake Placed 3 on the Horror channel. There is another forty minutes, but I think I will go to bed. I know roughly how it ends. Some of them get killed and some don't.

Hideous cold. I felt OK for about three days, but essentially just went from one illness to another. Lying on the safe; intermittently napping and watching old films on TV.The Revenge of Frankenstine. I quite like those old horror films.

Hallo cage people, sorry I have not been around much recently. I am just resting after getting back from a local indoor festival. I all ways go, I wrote a blog about it last year. Over all it was not as good as in previous years but still, there was for really good acts, some folk bands and a really good funk band.

A lot of the time I find that I am getting to like folk / melodic music more and more. I have not listened to Ian Dury for ages. Getting old.

So I have been ill, not been well. I usually tell people that I am not well, but in fact I have been ill. Being ill is not really the same as not being well. I tell people that I am not well because, when you are ill a lot of the time, you have to be careful what you say to people. When you have a chronic Illness you have to be very careful how you relate to other people. Some people just find you boring, whirl others feel that they have to look after you. Once people start looking after you, that is all they do. Very few people can be a friend, or a lover, and a carer at the same time.

But sometimes when I am ill, this time, whirl I was ill I got kind of angry because no one came around and offered to do some shopping or whatever for me. But I am lucky in a way because no one treats me like I am ill, in fact I have to remind them that I am ill.

Then there is the Aspergers. People with Aspergers, or anywhere on the spectrum have difficulty communicating with others, so maybe I am lucky to have a few friends, but I still wonder, when I am ill why does no one come around or even phone, and those that do just tell me not to sleep during the day, and I do not see why, of cause because then I can not sleep at night, but ill people sleep. It is a big part of what ill people do, just every one thinks that I should not do it.

Feeling ill and miserable. Nothing much ells going on (I had a good new year's eve though).

I seem to have spoken to, maybe, five submissive ladies recently who all talk (by which I mean write obviously) in sentences of one or two words. Even when I ask questions they use as few words as posable (one is limited to "yes" and "OK" no matter what I say to her). In all seriousness is this a new trend, or just coincidence, or is it somehow due to an exes off food and alcohol over Christmas? Has anyone ells noticed this?

PS; This refers to other sites, I mostly just use this site to write blogs.