I have found a 'vanilla' man I am very attracted to. I love that he is so open minded sexually so I tried talking to him about my desire for a D/s relationship. I want a relationship that is so much more than just sexual. Well, I failed terribly. I thought he got it until he said "I don't want to tell you to do things and have you feeling like a slave." After that comment I just shut down. I don't even know where to go from here. He has told me of the women in his past. I am sure his comment of being a slave came from his past. He has dealt with some disrespectful and mouthy women. Or, I hate to say thins but, maybe it's a race issue. He is african american. I am on this site and Fetlife. I mostly see white Doms. I really thought the connection he and I had both mentally and physically would really make for a great D/s relationship. I am just wanting a dominate man. He is like that in alot of ways, just not in a Dom type of way. I guess its more of a personality thing instead of a lifestyle thing. (If that makes any sense) I just don't want to have to lead the way in how to have a D/s relationship.
Uugghhh I don't think I will ever find what I want. I mean I will compromise. I just really need structure and to enjoy living my submissive personality so it feels natural.