My attitude

I find it's hard to get people to understand what works for one may not work for another. My need to submit daily is driving me nuts. I know I am married and he comes first. My need to submit, to a second dominant is hard to fulfill. I want to find a dominant that can work with my husband to show him what I am needing. I have submitted to a dominant and to my husband and yes it had some issues that we worked out, but it was also satisfied all of our needs. Why is it so hard to find that again? I don't do well with online submission. I think I have to be able to touch something and that is what makes it real. I know that some sexual gradificaction comes with this lifestyle and so does my husband. He's willing to share me with another if it helps me find what I'm looking for. The problem is everyone wants to do it without him knowing or being involved. For me I am not able to lie, or be deceitful.