Contemplations and Speculations of a Dominant Butch

A space for me to share my inner musings with anyone who would care to listen.

How Did This Happen?

5 years ago. September 8, 2019 at 8:20 AM

There have been multiple occasions lately where I've found myself pondering a question that I've yet to determine the answer to. I decided that maybe sharing my thoughts here would be a good place to start on figuring it out. Maybe it will bring me some clarity. Or maybe someone will have something to say about it.

Here is what I find my mind wandering back to time and time again: How did I get like this?

I know, it's a pretty broad question. It's actually a question I've asked myself multiple times in my relatively short lifetime, all in regards to different things. Some of the answers to this question have been exceptionally simple, others much more complex. But this time seems to be the most baffling of all, and being the type of person I am, not having the answer is bothering me more than I would like to admit.

But I suppose its past time that I told you what I was actually talking about this time around.

How did I become Dominant? Was I always this way? Or was I shaped to be this way by my admittedly troubled childhood?

You see, I've spent more than my fair share of time lurking around the wealth of knowledge that is The Cage and other similar places, and I've seen many a submissive directly correlate their current tendancies to past trauma, experiences, non-romantic relationships, etc., but I've yet to see a dom do the same. Am I the only one around who can see a plausible connection between the lack of control in my own childhood and my desire for it now, as an adult? Or am I the outlier for thinking that it's possible that there could possibly be a reason for me being the way I am? Should I do what others seem to be doing and just assume that I was designed to be this way? Or should I attempt more self reflection, and continue to allow this debate to keep me up into the early hours of the morning?

Typing this out now, I suppose my question isnt that dissimilar to the old debate of Nature vs. Nurture. And maybe, just like that age old quandary, I'll never have a definitive answer.

But does it matter either way? I suppose not, as I'm happy with the way I am. I enjoy experiencing and exploring this side of myself. Does it really matter where it came from?

sir james ladies(sub female){oh yes ple} - I can not speak for others but in my case, I was brought up this way. my parents gave me a norman Rockwell upbringing except in one respect an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. they ment for me to care for my brother who they thought would always need a caretaker he being hurt as a child and losing most of the abilities of movement and speech they did not think he would be able to work and find a job. but because of this, I found it extended beyond that and made itself at home in whatever part of my brain it sits in and causes me to feel responsible for anyone I come in contact with. people I love people that work for me, family, friends and even enemies.

5 years ago

Ceusacic(dom female) - Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the subject with me. I'm sorry to hear about your brothers injury, but it sounds like he was lucky to have you around.

5 years ago

sir james ladies(sub female){oh yes ple} - actually I was the lucky one I bought him a computer and he turned it into a great carrier. to the point of making himself and his sub/wife wealthy before passing away.

5 years ago

CapnRick(dom male) - Fascinating Question! Guess I will go more toward the "born this way" side of the range of answers. Or maybe being the first born of four sibs, and all those expectations to be and do good, had something to do with it.
I might also posit that it is harder to admit to and accept being a submissive, since it "seems" to run contrary to the whole feminist empowerment ideal. Being a Dominant--at least for a male-- is more of what society appears to respect--taking control, leading, being definite and so on. So maybe Dominants don't feel as strong a need to justify their role? Now being a butch Domme? That's beyond my experience level, but I suspect you might have a less comfortable fit with societal norms, thus the need to question how you got here...
Appreciate the question, hope you get a good range of answers...

5 years ago

Ceusacic(dom female) - Thank you for sharing your two cents on the subject. I definitely agree with the sentiment that it is most likely more difficult to admit to being a submissive, simply due to the nature of the role. But, I do feel the need to clarify that I do not believe that I feel a 'need' to question this because I am uncomfortable with my role in regards to societal norms. That is simply not the case. As with other parts of myself, I've accepted myself fully as a Dominant, and wouldnt change it for anything. That does mean that my inquisitive self doesnt feel the need to ponder how I got here, though.

5 years ago

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Ceusacic​(dom female)

Contemplations and Speculations of a Dominant Butch

How Did This Happen?

Ceusacic(dom female)