My whole world turned upside in just one phone call. I always thought he'd trade me in for a skinnier version. I never expected he was hiding a whole ass family from me, married with 3 kids. No wonder he acted so vile towards me each and everytime I told him I was pregnant. He even went as far to say don't you dare put me on the birth certificate as the father. He always insisted he couldn't get anyone pregnant. What a lie that turned out to be. Yeah, hr wanted kids and a wife, just not with me. All these years and he never chose me. Even after cheating on every girlfriend he had with me, including his now wife, he was never going to choose me. I guess I was just so in love with him that I didn't care.
For 10 years he was my North star. Everything I did and was, was for him. I have a whole dresser full of outfits just for him. He was everything to me, while I was nothing to him.
Even after this storm, I'm still thinking about him daily. Only it hurt more because I can't talk to him. Not that he would have anything to say back to me. He truly does not care for me at all. Yet part of me wants to know if everything was a lie.. . Guess I'm just mourning the loss of him for now.
