Ok let's face the facts we all weren't shot out of a womb with either a crop in our hand or a ball gag in our mouth. Granted pacifiers do resemble ball gags for babies, it is a form of keeping us quiet.
But seriously what brought you to the lifestyle? At what age did you know or were introduced to it? Did your life help shape or steer you into this direction? For some is this just curiosity because they saw something about it, or maybe deep inside they truly sought out something that burned in their soul. Another blog for a later time.
So let me begin with my story. Got beat by a baby sitter, did this make me want control, maybe. More abuse later in life. Moved 31 times in 29 years, stability issues maybe, put in control of other people at a young age desire for control not sure.
Because I wasn't raised that way, my mother was subservient to my father because of the times. But my mother taught me women are as equal to men, hence she could do things like remode the house, plumbing, many things she did I think were to prove to my father she was not weak.
I have great respect for women, she taught me well. I know from her about how hard she worked and the little respect she got. I can't imagine the hell that she went through as a child.
I got older, life teaches us different things, about how we interact with each other, how we want others to see us. I am religious so that had a bearing on who I am, but not what I am, if that makes sense.
I have been dominant in personality since I was about 18 years old. Let me explain, I was given total responsibility over several employees. When you take the role of supervisor at such a young age it teaches you how to deal with people. I learned that asking someone to do something in a nice way first got good results.
Don't get me wrong, I got an employee fired, because he failed to do his job, i didn't feel good about it but it was his fault not mine. Saying I learned from a friend, why would you do this to me, why would you put me in this position.
I like being in charge, having the responsibility to get things done, feeling needed. Because most of my life I never felt wanted or needed.
Fast forward, first wife and I were both alpha types, truly fought most of the time. Sex was vanilla, but found she had toys she never told me about later while moving her out. Guess she had her own secrets.
Second wife comes along, this is where I was introduced into the lifestyle. In a conversation one night she talked about how she paid to be trained as a submissive, curiosity peeked do tell more.
Well this is where she says I think you would make a great dominant because you are a dominant person. She was right but in my mind we were talking about two different things.
I am a disciplined person, have been since I was a child, taught that way. So I follow rules, lots of people do. Then I start doing research on BDSM, ok mind is now open wider than before. I read lots of information, read more, have discussion about things with her, learn more.
Now understand that I'm religious, so some of the things she wants goes against what I've been taught, some things go against everything my mother has taught me. So how does one do these things with a clear conscious?
It was one step at a time, learning how to give pleasure to fulfill someone's wants and needs and also learning what your wants and needs are. It went against a lot of what I believed in but in the same breath opened my mind to what I had been missing.
Anal sex. Big no no for many of us religious folks, but when introduced it's like sir step this way here's the back door just go on through. Wow what a whole new experience to marvel in, to enjoy without the awkwardness or guilt.
Degrading someone who you care about takes a lot of something that I can't really explain but you have to step out of yourself when doing it or you risk becoming someone you're not. Never lose site of who you are, because that can be dangerous.
She was a slave with very little limits, I truly didn't know about aftercare until I met Hazel. This was a shock, i was told she was a submissive, but after I met Hazel I realized she was more slave.
I have to give my second wife credit for bringing out my dominant side, because without the experience from her I wouldn't have met my beautiful lioness.
Hazel and I have a wonderful life together, we enjoy many facets of our life and lifestyle and I'm learning more about her everyday. I hope to learn even more as the days turn to years.
So this is why I am here, finding myself buried in a facade of things I had been taught, things I lived, to realize that once I crawled out from my perception of how I was supposed to be. I can now live how I want to live and be who I'm supposed to be.
So sit down, grab a pen or pencil and ask yourself why are you here? Big hug family. 😊🦁
