Adine's thoughts

Bunnie - I had a Mentor in the beginning and it was invaluable tbh. A Mentor for me is someone who’s opinion and advice I value and trust when I have questions about things.

The most important distinction I think, is that I wasn’t approached by someone asking me if I wanted a Mentor... it was after months of being friends, that I chose and asked the person who I had come to trust, if they would consider being my Mentor.

A Mentor to me is not someone who is or would ever become “my Master.” Those cards are completely off the table... and it is a purely platonic relationship.

These days, rather than any official titles, I usually just discuss anything that may pop up with friends who’s knowledge and guidance I value and trust.
Mostly because the person I go to first to discuss anything is the person who’s opinion or ideas matter the most in regards to myself as a submissive, however if I need to vent or need advice beyond “Him,” I go to them :)

Bunnie - Also wanted to add... I believe it’s beneficial to have Mentors or at least “role models” you can go to who identify as either Dom/mes, Switches or subs... not just “one side.”

Adinesidhe - What do you mean on side? Like only having submissive mentors?

Bunnie - Having both Dominant and submissive Mentors/role models, rather than just a Dominant.

I remember thinking that it was best to have a Dominant as a Mentor because they could give me the “inside thought processes” of my potential Master in the future... however I have come to learn that having someone who knows exactly how you feel and what you’re experiencing, and who may have suggestions as to how to ease that process is so important... and a Dominant simply can’t provide that information, because they haven’t experienced it (unless of course they’ve been a submissive at some point).

Overall, it really depends on you. I am the type of person who appreciates having many different perspectives, so that I can gather as much information as possible to feel like I’m making an informed decision on something... even knowledge or likes and dislikes. That’s why I tend to have many “Mentors,” mostly just asking in Forums or on my blog tbh. That way the feedback is *mostly* (not always) given without an ulterior motive (to get into your knickers), very varied and you can sift through the bs to find the value.

Adinesidhe - That is actually a very good Idea. I had never thought about that much. It would also be good to have someone be a sounding board when I am in one of my more crazy states of mind. I get all sorts of crazy Ideas it would probably be good to find someone with experience and a sharp pin to pop those bubbles before they get out of hand. That and it would be great to just have a friend to talk to who doesn't as you say want to get into my knickers...
Sounds so weird saying that in an American accent....

Bunnie - Comment deleted by poster.

Bunnie - Lol... now I’m curious what it would sound like 🤔

Much like choosing anything of value... take your time. Find those who resonate. I think it’s important to find those who fit well regardless of whether it’s friendship, guidance or love interest.

Hidden Secret​(sub female) - I have a Dom mentor & it truly is priceless.
I am free to ask any & all questions & his answers are always transparent & honest. (even if the truth hurts)
He gives me advice, guides me, and is kind of like a friend/daddy figure/Dom all rolled in to one.
So yes, I feel like having a mentor is important

Bishop​(dom male) - As long as said mentor maintains boundaries. Unfortunately, too many people (mainly men) take advantage of such a position for their own purposes and want to “train” the submissive. Be cautious...

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } - I lend towards what bunnie has stated i think that having mentors on but side of the slash can be very beneficial.

Tbh though i dont think i ever true had a mentor . mine was just a very small group of ppl the i had been friends with, trusted and vauled their thoughts on matters . Grant they had all been in the LS for more years then i could count ...lol. When i was new and just being my journey.

GandolphThe8​(dom male) - Guidance that is authentic is very valuable. Just be cautiius with anyone volunteering to mentor you before you've established a good trust and healthy boundaries. I dare say, SOME "doms" out there wanna "mentor" every new sub they talk to so they can get in your knickers! (I said that in a Texas Accent!