I was watching two little boys with their father this morning. Well, one more particularly- the older one. He caught my attention because he was racing his younger brother. He won by a mile and yelled back “I won, Thomas!” But no one noticed. Thomas didn’t notice because he was turning around because his dad had called him because he was still so small that he needed to be kept an eye on. But even though the older boy was older, he was still so young that he wouldn’t understand a parent’s reasoning. I could see his sense of rejection. And I felt for him. He won’t understand for a very long time. I wanted to say, “I saw, buddy, well done.” But instead I watched on silently as the seed quietly planted itself.
I realised how easily so many of our childhood story wounds can come from the simple misunderstanding of having a child’s mind in an adult world. A mind not yet ready. Maybe that’s where all our story wounds come from.
*when I speak of “story wounds,” I don’t mean harm. I speak of the stories we create about ourselves based on perception. In the instance above for example, one small moment can create so many stories that we can potentially carry about ourselves for such a long time- “I’m invisible,” “I’m not important,” “winning creates loneliness or rejection,” “my father doesn’t care about me as much as my brother” etc etc. Of course, this is a gentle example of the story wounds we can carry about ourselves. They vary greatly obviously- especially if they are formed around harmful experiences.
As we navigate the world as children, everything is information, teaching us how to exist in this strange world. Up until it’s damaged enough and we stop trusting it, our only real guiding light is how we feel. That becomes our reality until our mind is ready enough to look back from a place of wisdom and understanding and see it with a slightly larger perspective. Obviously that doesn’t change the moment or the reality of the way we experienced it… but it is interesting to observe from the outside looking in.