It’s amazing how easy it is to forget that when you click with someone, things make sense. Flow.
He came “knocking.” Unexpectedly, I let Him in. Still to this moment I’ve no idea why. Serendipity? Perhaps. Whatever the reason, I’m glad I did. A moment of bravery and here I am, sitting on His couch, looking at the possibility of a future I had stopped believing was a possibility for me. And regardless of where this goes, for once I am moving into this with a curiosity that I haven’t felt in a long time.
He challenges and intrigues me, and keeps nothing of Himself hidden.
‘I want to Own you.’
His words and actions match. Our values align. Our ideals align. Our concepts align.
Last night was the first time I allowed myself to relax into a possibility that there isn’t a catch. Of course, most of me still thinks there is. Things just don’t go smoothly in my life, so if they do, I’m always suspicious… especially if my heart is involved. He’s by no means perfect, nor does He pretend to be. We simply seem… compatible.
I finally find myself standing in a place where I kind of hadn’t really thought I’d ever be, looking out over an abyss that is beginning to make sense after all this time, a view that is becoming more formed and clearer, and more beautiful than ever, as I continue along on this journey.
‘There are two fundamental fears we have as humans,’ He said. ‘Not getting what we want, and losing what we have.’
“What if there’s a third?” I asked.
“What if we fear getting what we want?”
He smiled and looked at me, and said, ‘I want to piss on you.’
I blushed. We both knew what that meant. I got up and walked into the shower and knelt on the floor. He followed, pulled out His cock, told me to open my mouth, and proceeded to piss on my face and in my mouth. He then shoved His cock in my mouth and fucked my face. Not to cum. He hasn’t cum in my presence yet. His self control astounds me, because I know He wants to fuck me. There is something so appealing about a Man that can control himself in that way. I don’t know what it is but it speaks to me on a level I can’t explain.
‘Good girl,’ He said. ‘Now stand up and rinse your mouth.’ I did. And then He kissed me. Our first kiss. Is it weird to say it was a perfectly romantic moment? Because it was. It definitely melted me. We stood there in the shower together and just talked.
Bonding. Connecting. Learning each other.
His presence is immense. At first I found it intimidating, almost aggressive. Yet as we open to each other, somehow it has shifted. Softened.
He made me a bed to sleep at the foot of His bed last night, and it was a surprise to wake up feeling so refreshed, noting that not only had I actually managed to sleep (it usually takes me ages to sleep well at a new persons house), but that I had slept soundly. Perhaps it was because we were in our own spaces. It just felt right. Everything has just felt right. He surprises me more and more each day :)
