‘I love that you’re so unapologetically you,’ He says.
She smiles. It’s so strange to hear that because she never feels secure in herself in this world. Always feeling like a misfit, like she doesn’t belong anywhere. Like she’s too soft for this world of sharp and jagged edges. But a part deep down inside understands what He means. She has accepted that she is simply as she is. Somehow she knows who she is… and has always known… despite what others, and the world have always tried to tell her. Sometimes she wonders if that knowing is what will prevent her from becoming the type of slave she desires to be. Then in moments of fleeting understanding, she realises that no, it’s because of that knowing that she recognises that this is the right path for her. How can she possibly walk any other path?
10 days it has taken to get from there to here. From an ending to a beginning. 10 days it took for Him to find her. And for her to love Him. 10 days for Him to become Home. Thinking back it seems impossible to measure their time together in days or hours or minutes. It just simply feels… ongoing. Everything she thought was insurmountable has become obsolete. Why did she fight so hard to hide? Why did she fight so hard to resist love? Why did she fight so hard to resist handing over control? Why was she so reluctant to trust? All of these things seem so ridiculous now. Falling away like leaves, she watches as they simply drift to the ground to lay scattered around her feet. She realises it is her heart that is in control. Both herself and her mind thought otherwise. But her heart knew. Her heart held all the cards. Sneaky heart.
Somehow, by some kind of miracle, He has brought her back to life, and she hadn’t even realised how much she had been dying. Sounds, colours, smiles, laughter, love, happiness… suddenly the greyness is gonefornow… like a fog that drifts in with the dawn and dissipates with the sunlight. His presence radiates into her soul and creates a prism of life that she can finally remember is how she reflects back into the world.
These marks she carries. This fullness of being used by Him. The way in which He owns her. His willingness to accept everything she has to give of herself. She hasn’t felt this beautiful, perhaps ever. This known.
‘I will never love you,’ He says. ‘But I will always keep you, my slave.’
She smiles, and her heart bursts with happiness.
She loves Him. It is enough for both of them.
