As I continue to explore and grow in this wonderful space I'm learning interesting and I must admit rather surprising things about myself that till now have only been white noise in my subconscious.
I am slowly coming to realize that I most likely have some form of Stockholm syndrome, have more of an hang up on the emotional/verbal abuse I grew up with than I realized, that the masochism plays a nigher role than I could ever imagine and that I really do not enjoy or do well with conflict.
Although these are to be sure some huge weaknesses to work on, I also wish to embrace them for what they are, strengths-As without them I would definitely not be this person I am today. I am strong willed, independent and (As I'm continually told by others) dominant and at times intimidating. I rely on no one and am capable, competent and confident that even when I don't know HOW, I will always do my best to find a way and MAKE things work.
Yet I will be the first to step back and let another take my place if they can step up to the plate and run with it, it's just been my experience that most can't, or won't, so I do what needs to be done.
I've been told that there is a "little" inside me and perhaps that's also true, all I know is this is exciting and exhilarating and exactly what I've been needing in my life.
And I feel very happy and blessed to have so many people who can help guide me and teach me along the way<3
