When nothing seems to go right, all the thoughts scatter, words fall apart and you voice shatters. You have no breath, no air, can’t see can’t feel, no touch, nothing you can do…
Nothing seems to slow down or just BE. And you feel like giving up. You can’t. Just can’t.
It’s not a want, not a decision or choice, you’re just slamming back up against that same damn wall in your head with no memory of how you got there or a way to escape.
No answers, no solutions, nothing but blank empty nothingness. The hope slithering down the drain, pulling away answers and secrets like sharp twisting pain that shoots all over inside and out.
Time stops, then begins to trickle by, like rain, like a slow melting icicle that grips you, grabs you and freezes you in place. Everything starts growing colder and you’re all alone. You tried to call out, but no words came, you’re voice already bled dry. Not even a crackle, a whisper or croak. Just pieces lying all over the floor.
The wind picks up the remnants of your once thoughts, throwing them around like a hurricane that’s just started having its fun. Still no light, no air, no breath, no strength.
The life has slowly started bleeding out, bit by bit in bitter pieces, to the outside where you can’t go. Where everyone and everything stared inside and breaks you down, further, more, how are you still even here? What’s keeping you, what are you holding on to?
You feel the piecing being washed back inside, sharp shards slicing and dicing, weaving around inside the shell. Trying to reform, rebuild and make sense of it all.
The wind comes again only gentler this time, trying to show you, trying to make you breath again. But still the breath won’t come, the air escapes your lungs. So it hurtles back in to you again, with brute strength and force of will, it slams you bodily through the invisible wall out into the oh so blindingly bright world so you have no choice but to gasp in all the life that is now rushing into your limp body, lifting you up, rising you above all the wreckage and broken nothingness that even now coils around you and tries to reclaim.
You shoot up up, past the wind, the leaves, the trees and up into the clouds, towards the stars, their hope, their magical warm embrace, up where the memories flow, the energy rushing back into you and the thoughts begin to flicker, dance, whisper and tickle your mind.
Where are you now? Into a great unknown, swimming along in a sea of wonder and light, breathing in the peace and harmony that you thought had been left behind, somewhere in a deep dark forgotten somewhere beyond the darkest depths of your imaginings.
You unfold, let go and just be.