It never ceases to amaze me how whenever there's a new thing in front of us the first instinct is usually to reject.
To walk away, stall and avoid. The passive internal cock block of personal growth.
The ever constant need to fight change.
Yet the very thing prompting these actions is usually a deep and often unacknowledged need and craving for exactly that - change. The everyday becomes so suffocating, paralyzing and emotionally numbing and yet there's that something...that empty dead weight that seems to hold you back.
And then the thoughts begin. The second guessing, the internal debate of how necessary all of it is. The best to worst case scenario (and if you're an overthinker like moi every other reason and possible outcome under the sun follows🤣🤷🏻♀️🙄).
You're left with a dead weight inside of you, just a blank empty nothingness and an enormous blanket of mental and emotional exhaustion, yet another diversion from your mind and subconscious trying to "save" you from yourself.
So you learn to shut it all out. The good thoughts with the bad ones, you don't look down or contemplate, you take a deep breath, hold it and teach yourself to jump before thinking, because thoughts become your enemy just as surely as waiting does. And neither thinking or waiting will bring you any closer to your end goal.
Sometime you just have to suck it up and take the plunge, because that's how the first step begins.