In the forum recently, I posted about a struggle my husband and I were facing wherein I would begin to feel frustrated or sad and over time, as situations would cause those feelings to compound, I would eventually explode resulting in an intense session of spanking, biting, manhandling, ect, that would effectively clear my mind and alleviate whatever stress I was carrying. Papa Bear and I took your suggestions to heart and decided to experiment with two new routines to see if they help. I'm going to post them here for anyone else who might be struggling with this phenomenon and is looking for options.
1) When I recognize that I am feeling overwhelmed and am in need of his assistance, I will let him know. When our schedule allows, I will undress and lay in child's pose at the end of our bed. He will sit cross legged in front of me. I will then express my feelings/frustrations while he listens. (He said he might play with my hair or stroke my back during this time.) Afterwards, we may progress into a session of intimate spankings, biting, love making, or we may simply cuddle depending on what it seems like I need in that moment. However, if at any time I begin to speak disrespectfully or attack him emotionally, I will be ordered to stand with my legs spread apart, bent over the bed, and I will get spanked hard until my emotions calm down and I can think more clearly.
2) In the event that I am having a sudden fit that is getting out of hand, he will order me to the room where I will remove my pants and lay bent over on the bed, feet planted on the floor, legs spread apart. He will then spank me hard until the anger inside of me ebbs, and then we'll discuss why I acted out during our aftercare session.
I'm feeling confident in these adjustments. We both know how impactful loving pain is on my psyche and on our depth of intimacy following. I'll write back eventually about the effectivenes after we've applied the practice a few times and let y'all know how it goes.
-Jo
