I sent these to a blossoming sub earlier today as an outline and thought they might be helpful here.
For anyone starting out in the lifestyle with a significant other who isn't quite on board, consider asking what their expectations of you are instead of asking for "rules." Everyone has expectations for their partner, even if it's subconscious. Examples: honesty, loyalty, fidelity, cleanliness, dedication, ect... Once you have those clearly outlined you can discuss consequences for not keeping true to those expectations.
My advice is to make sure the punishment fits the crime. It doesn't make sense to spend a day in isolation because you forgot to check the mail two days in a row.
Anyway. Here is mine.
Hard Rules: (Unexceptionable)
Always have gun when leaving the house, either on person or in vehicle.
Discipline Ideas: Watch training videos on YouTube. Write the rule repeatedly. Clean guns. Practice self defense techniques with D. Repeatedly load and unload ammo from a magazine.
Always wear gun on person when meeting with a new client.
Discipline Ideas: Spanking. Position holding (kneeling, downward dog, squatting, ect...) Firm verbal scolding. Write an essay about kidnappings/killings from similar circumstances. Spend a day without physical touch.
Behave and speak respectfully to D, the kids, and others.
Discipline Ideas:
1) Warning
2) Lecture
3) Write lines: Luke 6:45, Romans 12:10, John 13:34, Titus 2:7, Proverbs 21:21. Write apology letters to those I've whose feelings I've hurt/offended.
Gracefully accept compliments.
Discipline Ideas: I will hear the compliment again and respond appropriately. I will say 5 good things about myself. I will apologize for being rude and say thank you. I will repeat the compliment three times.
Drink at least 60oz of water a day.
Discipline Ideas: No tea, coffee, ect... for a week. Set "drink water" reminders on phone. Send D pictures after each bottle/cup of water is finished. Drink water whenever D tells me to without argument for 3 days.
No picking at my face or body.
Discipline Ideas: Hand swatted away from face/body. Apologize for breaking a rule. Take a cold shower for five minutes.
Brush and floss teeth before bed every single night.
Wash face before bed when wearing makeup.
Discipline Ideas: Take away make up for a week
Stay within the budget.
No drinks without lids in the truck.
No stopping on railroad tracks.
No loose trash on the floor of the passenger seat of the truck.
Soft Rules: (Exception)
No cussing.
Discipline Ideas:
1) Warning
2) Lecture
3) Write lines: Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 18:21, Proverbs 15:4. Eat super dark chocolate or chocolate covered coffee beans.
Exercise at least three times a week for half an hour.
Discipline Ideas: No dessert/sweets for the following week. No cheese for the following week. Exercise while D watches.
Bedtime no later than 11pm.
Discipline Ideas: Early bedtime for a week. Hide the remotes. Put a parent app on my phone that turns my phone off after 9pm. Take my laptop with you to work. No KDramas for a week.
Get out of the truck the proper way.
All of the above: have me explain what it means to exist in our dynamic. Ask if I'm really taking it seriously, or if it's just a tool to manipulate you into showing love. Remind me that if I don't intend to take it seriously that we go back to the way things were when we were vanilla.
There are so many unique punishments for specific styles of D/s. Things that would kill me are:
Pape Bear touching himself to orgasm while I face a wall.
Not being allowed to provide him service, like making his drinks and food.
Being asked to wear ugly clothing in public.
Not being permitted to take baths. Only taking showers.
Ect...
Punishments should not lead to sex or be fun. They should be educational and inconvenient for minor infractions and emotionally or physically taxing for serious ones.
-Jo
