This morning I tried to stand up and it felt like there was a knife in my abdomen. Doubled over, I dragged myself into the bathroom and started the tub. My arms felt like white noise and my hands were almost completely numb. My head was spinning and I could barely catch my breath. Why does this happen to me? Why is my body so severely affected by stress? My husband came home and found me floating in the water. He had to help me to my feet because my stomach hurt so badly. I stumbled and fell on to the bed shaking and crying. He covered me with a towel and made a phone call to let his employer know he needed the day off. The effects of someone trying relentlessly to destroy your life is taxing beyond all measure. What grave sin did I commit to have been given this cross to bear? What is the purpose of this demon in my life? Why won't he ever stop? I ask myself these questions more than I'd like to, but he's always there. A monster in my shadow, fangs reflecting hellsfire, salivating at the idea of taking a piece of my life and ripping it into unidentifiable shreds.
I just want it to stop. Why won't he ever stop?
-Jo
