The lonely fat girl has had a long summer emotionally. She ended things with Daddy back in June. He was pushing her away. It was hurting too much to stay. She felt she needed to give him what he wanted. That doesn't mean he was gone from her heart. That doesn't mean she didn't stop loving him.
The lonely fat girl has thought about Daddy every day since things ended. She's thought about him when she's awake. She's had to stop herself from sending him something when something exciting has happened. She had to delete pictures. She had to remove him from things. It hurt too much to see the reminders. She's thought about him in her dreams. She's woken up and started crying because it wasn't real.
The lonely fat girl has missed Daddy so much. He understood her. He knew what she needed. He helped her feel safe.
The lonely fat girl loves Daddy. She never stopped loving him. She didn't feel lonely and fat when he was talking to and caring for her. He loved her. Not in spite of her fat. Not because of her fat. He loved her because he saw she was beautiful. On both the inside and out. He loved her mind. But he also loved her body.
The lonely fat girl struggled with Daddy too. Especially in the end. The little started coming out more and more. She didn't understand it. She didn't know how to deal with the feelings. She ended up in little space. It was so scary. She didn't know what to do or how to handle it. Daddy wasn't there.
The lonely fat girl has struggled this summer. She has talked with so many "doms" and "daddies." They were fake. They had no clue what being daddy meant. They just thought they were seeing an opportunity to mess with someone for a little while and then move on. They were mean. They were hurtful.
The lonely fat girl talked with some real doms and daddies too. They understood what it meant to be a daddy. They just didn't get the lonely fat girl. They didn't get what she needed. They wanted things from her she wasn't able to give. She needed things from them they didn't think was important. They weren't Daddy.
The lonely fat girl's life took an interesting turn this week. Daddy contacted her. Daddy wants to try again. Daddy has explained what happened. The lonely fat girl understands. Daddy wants to regain her trust. Daddy wants to be there for her again.
The lonely fat girl's head is a jumbled mess. She doesn't know what to think. She doesn't know what to feel. She does know he never really stopped being Daddy. She knows she's scared. She doesn't want to get hurt again. She doesn't want the tears. She doesn't want the loneliness.
But what if the lonely fat girl says yes? What if she submits to him again? What if the risk is worth every second of it? What if she just needs to stop thinking for once and follow her gut? And yet is that what her gut is telling her
What if she just needs to take that leap of faith? What if then she's no longer the lonely fat girl? What if she just becomes Daddy's babygirl? What if she becomes just Daddy's little princess? What if she ends up getting what she's wanted all along?
