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The Chimera's Whispers

Musings, whispers, thoughts, opinions, murmurs, and lessons learned from someone returning to the Lifestyle.
4 years ago. March 19, 2020 at 2:39 AM


It amuses me greatly...    How things come back to you.  In the end, sometimes things just come full circle.

Lemme start with my first experiences with BDSM and the lifestyle.  

When I first experienced anything close to BDSM- I actually stumbled into it. I was teasing my ex about a picture of his I had edited. (I was mean as a teenager.) and he exclaimed "I'll do anything! I'll even be your pet!"
Well, naturally my snarky teen-self paused and went "Oh?" (Granted later, I realized he wanted this all to happen, this was all a big manipulation to get me into it. He wanted me to be his Owner.)
At the time I didn't have the foggiest inclination of BDSM or the lifestyle. I accepted, and thus began my first dynamic of a Owner/pet relationship and some Petplay.   After that agreement had been struck, I did some research on Master/pet dynamics. Mind you, at that time I didn't find much. Be it my naivete and not putting in the correct phrases, words, criteria into google. Or, there just not being any material posted online. (This was over 10 years ago. Internet was different then.) Or maybe it was a blend of both. My naivete and lack of material. I saw my pet truly like I would a dog. I threw balls for him, I got him a modified Choke-chain for a collar (If I ripped on it, I modified it so it only made noise, the choke chain would stop well before it'd ever genuinely choke him.) he even had his own tag. 

After a time, he wanted more. He wanted sex, and deeper intimacy. Intimacy one doesn't normally give their pets. (Granted, in such dynamics sex is included. For me, I didn't want that. I was only about 18/19 or so At that time, if I was going to be sexual with someone, I wanted a boyfriend. Someone that was my equal. I'm glad that now, even so many years later. I made that choice.)
So, we dissolved the Owner/pet dynamic. It was my choice not to have sex with my pet and it was his choice to either remain my pet, or advance into deeper intimacy.

Now... Before people come at me and criticize that in ANY dynamic, there should be deep bonds and intimacy. I understand that. But, I'd like to remind readers that:
A.) I was still very young, inexperienced, and I made my choice. I wasn't comfortable with sex in my dynamic.
B.) the decision was ultimately left to my ex to decide. He made his choice.
& C.) I had my own desires and wants.

It wasn't until my mid to late 20's did I really get to witness BDSM lifestyles and watch firsthand how a D/s dynamic works. My best friend was a submissive to a mutual friend of ours. I remember riding in the car with them up to their Mistress' house (It was like an hour drive or so.) and I'd tease my friend on different things. Like when they were having issues adding "Mistress" to their questions, answers, etc.
Or, one time. We were driving up because we were going to visit and my friend was going to have a scene with their Mistress (Usually I'd visit the Mistress' boyfriend, we'd hang out and talk while the other two had their fun.) my best friend forgot their collar...  At the time, I teased my poor friend in the car. But oh... Now that I understand better the meaning and gravity behind that sort of a thing. I wince even now.
My poor friend was a mess, and faced some punishment when we arrived.

Now, my best friend switches with their partner - and got to watch ME struggle with adding Sir (Now Master) to my responses, questions, etc. They get the satisfaction of watching the throes a new subbie goes through.
Boy, karma is such a mean bitch.
My best friend was even present when Master and I got my new training collar. I'm glad they were there. It's nice that it's come full circle.

In a back-asswards way. It's wholesome to me.

I tell Master a lot that the shoe is on the other foot for me. All of these things I experience with him, I've witness with my best friend, or my "Would-be" previous dynamic. ((If we can classify it as such since I was so clueless.)) I find it extremely amusing that Master calls me his pet, and I DO have traits of a pet, a little, a brat, and more. 


Isn't it interesting how life just drops subtle hints or comes full circle?
To me it is...



 

 

 


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