Now, a few things before I even begin.
- It's 5:30 in the morning, and I'm feeling "Semi-human" after battling a migraine for most of my Friday night/ Saturday morning. So please excuse me if my writing is... Sub-par, or a bit disjointed.
After all, this is a rambling in the morning when I am very muchso not a morning person. (Master can attest to this.) - This blog post is my thoughts and opinions. Nothing more. This is not a post to incite arguments, or down on anyone's preferences, dynamics, relationships, etc...
- This blog is by no means a political platform. In short. Don't pick fights and don't be a jerkbag. As I disclosed with point 1. These are merely my thoughts and opinions on my personal blog.
I have a no-nonsense attitude towards the 3 points above. if I see anyone acting like an asshole, or trying to start drama, or pick a fight, or just be rude in my comment section; they're getting their comments removed and those users may be potentially blocked depending on the severity of the situation.
Essentially - having more than one partner in a sexual or romantic relationship is the gist of the meaning in today's world; pretty much. Personally, I've seen beautiful success stories, and I've also seen abhorrent nightmares involving these types of relationships.Regrettably, it's commonly the latter of the two that's the end result.
Key point I've seen in a Polygamous relationship that I've witnessed kept the relationship alive and going - was firstly. Communication, communication, communication. Much like BDSM, I've seen couples talk about things. Discuss partners they do or do not like/sleep with/spend time with. Sometimes it's a triad where both the primary couple have a relationship with the other person/people involved.
Or, it's set to where- Girlfriend has a girlfriend and boyfriend. Boyfriend has a second girlfriend of his own - etc. etc. There's a lot of variations you can get from that. And one of the primaries doesn't have a relationship with the others involved.
Leading in with that. A lot of the horror-stories I've witnessed with friends is that one will not communicate to the other(s). So suddenly. Surprise girlfriend is involved, or surprise non-binary partner appears. (I include non-binaries and trans in my posts too. I like to include everyone, not just boys and girls.) and that's due to a breakdown of communication. Often times- because 1 partner just refuses, forgets, or tries to act sneaky about who they're seeing. Which, in the end, is cheating.
---and yes, it's cheating if you're trying to SNEAK a partner into your relationship or hide them from your other partner.---
The other thing I've seen is the openness and overall- trust given in one another. Everyone trusts one another. I've seen horror-stories where someone doesn't trust others and it causes rifts, discordance, and makes waves in the relationship(s). That, or insecurities flare and cause the same thing. Paranoia, and anxiety run rampant.
The thing that boggles my mind is Polygamy within BDSM.
When someone has multiple Dom(mes) or subs, or both... How does that play out? I'd imagine everyone would talk with one another and communicate, set boundaries, etc.
Just from personal experience of having 1 Dom. I find I have my hands full. Having 2+ Dom(mes) I know would stress me out, and be too much on my plate. (Again, this is me. For others this might be just right.)
But what if one Dominant tells you. "I don't want you orgasming for a week." and then the other says. "I want to use my property tonight, and I'm going to make you cum repeatedly." As mentioned- communication is a major key factor in the BDSM world. So that naturally I figure would go hand in hand in a polygamous relationship. Certainly.
Do the two Doms have a sit down and chat it out?
At what point does that become cumbersome? (I imagine at some point it might be when 2+ orders are given and there's a conflict of interest, which WILL happen eventually.)
Or flipping that on it's head- When a Dom has 1+ subs. A Dom usually dedicates a great deal of time and effort to their submissive. (Depending on the dynamic of course.)
At what point does juggling multiple submissives become tricky? Especially if both are volleying for your attention.
Are you ok with your Doms/subs having relationships with eachother? Are you not?
If not, when does THAT become an issue? Especially if one Dom is not in contact with the other? (Or when one sub is not in contact with the other?)
Perhaps those above questions are just my personal ignorance showing- since I am not involved in Polygamy. I am Monogamous. It's a lot to think about. I've wondered such things when I witness polygamous relationships/dynamics on TheCage, Fetlife, IRL, etc.
Personally- 1 Dominant is enough for me. I'm far too bratty and too much of a wildcard to really take orders from more than one Dominant. I'm pretty sure I'd NEVER get out of trouble/punishment. (And not "funishments" either. True punishments.)
Stepping away from those questions. I've seen some instances where some Dom(mes) and subs just seem to "collect" people. That too boggles my mind... Like. People are not trading cards/coins/easter eggs/toyko fun-pop figurines... People are not "collectable."
I've seen brackets expand across my screen with 3+ names before.
Often times those names change rapidly. I'll look one week and there's 2 names, then I look the next week and there's 2 more names added in. Then, if I look another week, those names drop or there's more added.
Honestly, I get when some relationships bloom, others don't work/fall away. Often times when I see the above of rapidly adding/dropping names, it's moreso for bragging rights. Essentially "Look at how many people I can be with! Look at all my pretty shinies!" Like I mentioned- people aren't collectables...
Where I majorly have a problem, is when someone tries to collect people with little to no regard for others feelings, thoughts, boundaries, etc. I've seen a couple of instances where someone "Collects" another person, then ignores them or just "drops" them because they are no longer the shiny new penny.
I've seen the term "Velcro collar" tossed around in the community before. Does that terminology become apt in those situations of someone collecting people like so or rapidly adding and/or subtracting names like so? After all, everyone has their own style, flow, fetishes, kinks, and flavor in the lifestyle of BDSM. Is that any different? 
Moving into more of my own personal bias/opinions as opposed to open questions above.
I am not polygamous. (Obviously.) I'm monogamous. I have considered trying polygamy in the past; but after personal self-evaluation, thought, and examination. I determined that I am not cut out to be polygamous.
I know for a fact that I am/can be: jealous, insecure, territorial, protective, cynical, and even a bit untrusting towards others. None of those things would ever be good in a polygamous relationship. Especially the insecurities and jealousy.
"But Chimera, those aren't good in a monogamous relationship either." <-- you're absolutely right. However, I DO build trust with single people. I do not open myself easily to large groups of people. I'm reserved, and thus. I keep such things private. I can build trust with another person, and work with them on my insecurities.
"Chimera.... You can do that with multiple people too." Yes, you're right about that too. I certainly can. But, I also don't like "groups" as much as others do. Honestly, dealing with more than 1 person sometimes is...Exhausting. Much like a cat, I tend to get a "Favorite person." I feel safe with 1 person, as opposed to many.
For me, if I'm in a relationship with someone. I want to be a focal point in their world. A precious gem that's theirs and only theirs; I like the exclusivity. Just like they would be to me. This is just my personal preference.
Tying into BDSM?
My personal thought process when a Dom boasts to me. "I have multiple subs!" or a sub boasts "I have multiple Doms!" is that you don't have enough time or dedication to just 1 person. When you don't have that time/dedication, you don't give your FULL attention/effort/time to any 1 person. For me, how is that ever a good thing in a dynamic?
If anything, I begin to wonder if they're "collecting" people just to have that ability to be like "Look at how many shinies I have!!!!"
And yes- before anyone comes for my head, I understand this is a very shitty outlook on others. And I don't always think that way. It's circumstantial. Frankly, if you're trying to "Boast" to me about your dynamic/relationship to begin with, already it's going to strike some negative chords because people who often times brag, or try to "Show off" just leave a bad impression with me. "Love does not boast." as I've heard it said.
Overall, in the end of this ranty, weird, disjointed blogpost.
If a relationship/dynamic makes you happy? Then please. Be happy! Regardless of what my thoughts/opinions are. Those are irrelevant to your happiness. As long as you are *not* maliciously hurting yourself or others - then you do your thing!
