I've noticed an influx of Whiny Dominants and codependent subbies rising up lately. Which frankly, anymore when I find these comments, blogs, or forum posts I skim 'em. Yawn, then move on.
So I figure, Lets discuss some things I noticed? At least- these are just personal preferences/opinions. And those hold their own bias. So, no, it might not align directly with yours.
I'd love to read and see others opinions in turn.
Dominants:
How a Dom conducts themselves publicly I feel is a huge reflection of how they'd act privately behind closed doors.
One big thing I've noticed are Doms who throw a temper tantrum when they don't get their way, or what they feel they "deserve." This could be a myriad of things. Be it respect, actions, objects, a sub, etc.
Or they publicly show their abusive tendencies. Such as shutting people down because they don't want to read or hear what others have to say. Or blatantly trying to force their opinions/beliefs on others in a very forceful manner. Purposefully playing the victim card to garner sympathy, after instigating reactions from others. Or immediately demanding respect from other people (Primarily subs) because they slap the title "Dom" by their name. Reminder: Respect is EARNED. Not given.
(What makes you think they don't do that to someone behind closed doors when they get all upset over different things?)
My biggest question in hand with that - If you want to take on a sub, and are actively seeking. A level of self discipline and self control are pretty necessary.
If you can't control yourself, how are you going to keep the reigns on someone else?
As far as I've seen. Nobody likes whiners. Or self-appointed martyrs. So Doms who constantly write "Waaaah, pity me. My life sucks. Boohoo" and whipping out their sympathy titty in hopes some people will suckle on it to make them feel better is just... repulsive.
This does not mean Doms are not allowed to show emotion - far from it. There's a difference from venting about having a really crappy day/week/month/year, then constant post after post, after post of nonstop whining, desperately searching for sympathy from others and victimizing themselves.
Submissives:
How a Sub conducts themselves publicly I feel is a huge reflection of how they'd act privately behind closed doors.
A huge thing I've seen with subs is moreso self-depreciation, or the desperate urge to cling to anyone who pays them attention then wonder why that Dominant took off, running for the hills.
I discussed this in someone else's really well written blog (I won't name drop because I do not have her permission, and respect her privacy.) that one huge problem I've seen is that some subs act like a Dominant will fix EVERYTHING. Which isn't true at all. A Dom =/= a therapist. They might provide some structure or support, but for those who may have deeper, underlying issues, it's not fair to act like a Dominant is going to solve everything.
Codependency, essentially. Acting like they can't live without directive from someone else.
As far as I've seen. Nobody likes whiners. Or self-appointed martyrs, or people who are overly codependent. So subs who constantly write "Waaaah, pity me. My life sucks. Nobody loves me. Boohoo" and whipping out their sympathy titty in hopes some people will suckle on it to make them feel better is just... repulsive
This does not mean subs are not allowed to show emotion - far from it. There's a difference from venting about having a really crappy day/week/month/year, then constant post after post, after post of nonstop whining, desperately searching for sympathy from others and victimizing themselves.
Noticed that repeat? Because I hold both titles to the exact same standards.
"But Chimera, what about Switches?"
Switches: BOTH apply to you, double-jeopardy.
Again, I'd love to read and see others opinions in turn