Online now
Online now

my mouth is a fire escape

The words coming out
don’t care that they are naked.
There is something burning in there.
~Andrea Gibson, The Madness Vase~
9 months ago. February 21, 2024 at 6:40 AM

2 weeks ago a 16 year old non-binary high school student was beaten to death in the girl's bathroom at school in Owasso, Oklahoma. Specifics about the case are still unclear, but the implications are clearer than my mother's crystal. This beautiful child was MURDERED as a result of the beating in the bathroom, arguably one of the least safe places in public for any trans, non-binary, and gender nonconforming person. After several minutes, a teacher interceded, and no medical treatment was provided to Nex (the school stated that the students were looked over by the nurse. If they had been the extent of Nex's injuries should have triggered medical intervention (cuts, wounds, and scratches all over their head, amongst other things). to add insult to injury (death?) the school suspended Nex for 2 weeks for "fighting." They later collapsed and went to the hospital, where they died.  

We are just hearing about this now. Major news outlets are still slow in reporting what happened and many are misgendering Nex intentionally (initially in their grief, Nex's parents misgendered them as well. They have since issued a statement apologizing and ensuring that Nex's headstone, etc. will be properly gendered). The school has issued a CYA statement outlining the steps that were taken and stating that a nurse.  The police department is refusing to make a case of this yet, as they are "not sure if there were other health conditions that caused Nex's death." 

It doesn't fucking matter if there were any outlying health conditions; the beating that Nex suffered was surely a mitigating factor and caused any sort of flare up, if this even occured. Some people have said that Nex had a tendency to run their mouth. Is a teenager running their mouth a death sentence? If so I would have been gone long ago; I was a good kid but my mouth had no limits, especially when it came to my parents. 

The school district had been targeted by the group Libs of Tiktok. This is a far-right hate group founded by known agitator Chaya Raichik, to bring light to left-wing issues and to target anyone with a non-hateful agenda. An Owasso teacher was targeted for encouraing students to love themselves despite outside pressures, adding that “if your parents don’t accept you for who you are, fuck them.” This teacher was harassed and had multiple death threats, leading to their resignation.

Instead of taking this targeting seriously, the superintendent rewarded Raichik by offering her a position supervising school libraries and choosing what books are and are not appropriate. 

This is why I am so anti "discussion." The time has come for people to educate themselves (the resources are out there and I'm working on a comprehensive list of them) and quit relying on trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming folx to make themselves vulnerable to hate by engaging in these "discussions." ESPECIALLY on a site focused on expression of sexual freedom. There isn't time to argue about the validity of identities or how you want people to tell you what's between their legs. Now is the time to simply fucking ACCEPT. You don't have to fuck or date anyone you don't want to. You don't need to "understand" someone's experience to accept them. You literally just have to not be an asshole and let people live their lives. 

Discuss dynamics. Favorite toys. Relationship issues. Roles. Sex positions. History. The best kind of boots (haha jk. The only answer to this is Wescos). But not people's inherent identities. 

A beautiful baby is dead because people are dragging the discussion out for far too long. 

This is why I refuse to shut the fuck up. 

Rest in Power, Nex Benedict. I'm sorry we failed you. 

dollMaker​(dom male) - I too have only become aware of what happened to Nex, last night, and my heart sank. Last Feb I stood in the cold with hundreds of others in solidarity with the family and friends of Brianna Ghey, who at that stage all we knew had been found stabbed to death in a park, though many suspected was a victim of trans hate. As it turned out one of her killers was acting on such hatred.

That another 16 year old has been killed as a direct result of hatred, also by children, is shocking and deeply sad, and those who created, grew this hate I wish could be held responsible for what their influence caused both in Nex’s case but also in Brianna Ghey’s. They won’t, but I hope Nex’s killers are punished to the fullest extent, the law allows, as Brianna Ghey’s killers have, but also those who failed them should also be punished. This of course doesn’t bring back Nex or Brianna, or any of the hundreds of others murdered, because they are trans, non binary, queer, people who deserved to live out their wonderful, amazing lives in peace and respect instead of having them cut short.

I could say a lot more, but can’t find any words more powerful or eloquent than yours.

Another incredibly sad day.

9 months ago
simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} - I just hope this effects one person on this site who doubles down on their quest for knowledge. It's 2024. We're beyond that. Time to actually act. It's all juSt fucking tragic and I'm tired.
9 months ago
HeyLittleOne​(sub female) - The passing of any child, regardless of who they were, is a tragedy of the utmost degree, but I do have to wonder if this is truly the appropriate place to discuss something like this. Bringing the memory of a child (to whom I assume you have no relation) to a website specifically for adults that caters to sex and kink strikes me as inappropriate.

Yes, children (and innocents in general) who have passed away should always be talked about and remembered, but we, as adults, need to choose the appropriate places to do so. In my opinion, this isn't it.

I obviously cannot speak for anyone else, but I would be incredibly upset if a stranger took the name of my recently deceased child and spoke about them on a website primarily focused on kink and fetishes.

My intent is not to be argumentative or disrespectful, but simply to possibly bring a different perspective to how your words may affect others, especially when they're grieving.
9 months ago
simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} - I hear what you are saying but this is directly in line with the very strong stand against the blatant transphobia perpetrated on this site. Freedom of identity is a tenet of kink and the bigots on this site need to be made aware of the results of their hate. If you read my previous blog posts it would become clear that this is extremely relevant to the critique I've been making.
9 months ago
HeyLittleOne​(sub female) - I respect that you're passionate about something and take a stand against it, but that can also be accomplished by using any other example. A child and their death shouldn't be used to make a point, even if you see it as being just. Not here, on this website containing the content it does.

"Freedom of identity is a tenet of kink," but kink has nothing to do with children. Minors should never be associated with sex and intimacy, much less to be used as an example.
9 months ago
simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} - We're not going to see eye to eye on this and that's fine. However, this is not directly about kink and we all know that. It is, however, about a matter that has plagued this site. Just as others have talked about their children in their blogs on here, I can share this. I'm a licensed social worker. I have a very firm understanding of what is and isn't appropriate, and given that I have made NO connection of this to any sort of kink material and rather a direct correlation to an issue plaguing this site.
9 months ago
obsequiae​(dom male) - Just a totally ineffably tragic situation. Nex deserved so much better. I have many thoughts, but in the interest of being brief, I have bottomless ire for Ms. Raichik, the school, the OK dept of ed. Also, as a general rule, but especially in cases involving minorities, police reports are about as useless for divining the truth as a phone call to the psychic friends' hotline was back in the day, in my opinion.

I have to shoutout Erin Reed, a journalist who specifically covers trans rights issues and things related. It's how I learned of Nex's story. Also Dead Domain (that's their name on youtube at least, i'm sure you can get links to the rest of their socials from there) is a great content creator who covers trans issues, and right wing extremism, both in a serious manner and with some levity when called for.

Also on a somewhat aside, as irony is murdered on an hourly basis in this country for the past decade or so now, lots of people round these parts and similar don't think the leopards will eat their faces.
9 months ago
simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} - I love Erin Reed and look forward to checking out Dead Domain. I have a dear friend who lives in the same area with kids in similar circumstances and her grief is palpable. I couldn't begin to imagine. I just hope the tragedy and direct connection to my fight against transphobia make a difference. I don't have high hopes but a smidgen of optimism remains.
9 months ago
dollMaker​(dom male) - Dead Domain's you tube content is, what I have watched of it, very well researched, informed and worth watching. You Tube suggested them a few weeks ago, and after watching just one of their video essay's I subscribed.
9 months ago
SweetSirRendering​(sub female) - i too will not stop speaking out. this breaks my heart. I am so sad my own child has to live in fear when we go out about which restroom to use. what is wrong with people.
9 months ago

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