A few times over the years I've shared some of the tools in the proverbial toolbox which have been incredibly effective. No, not literal tools, toys etc; metaphorical ones. Ones that people tend to overlook, or underrate.
Yesterday a dear friend wrote about how dedication and kindness will get more out of a girl than any amount of cajoling ever would.
This morning at one point I was curled up in MstrJ's arms and I asked Him if I'd told Him recently how smart He is. He asked why and I explained that He is the most emotionally intelligent man I've ever known.
Emotional Intelligence is defined as is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.
I find it is one of the most underrated yet most effective if not absolutely essential tools in the Dominant's toolbox.
I have been in a domineering relationship where I finally said to my ex husband: "You know you could accomplish more with a flyswatter sometimes than a hammer!" He took every problem and made it Mt. Everest. Some Dominants take correction the same way. They get home and find her less than perfect in her patience, fail to take a moment to think WHY and immediately call her to the carpet (literally in many cases). Sure, it will work, and for some girls it might be the most effective tactic. However, for THIS girl, sometimes having my Master stand up from where He is seated despite having just sat to a meal, having Him wrap His arms around my neck in a tight hug from behind and having Him just hold me then making the intentional choice to lay in bed and watch a show with me *before* passing out after a very long night at work.... You are the smartest most emotionally intelligent Man I've ever met. It is one more reason THIS GIRL would walk across coals, or fly over oceans, and gladly gratefully dedicate her life to You.
Advice to Dominants reading: You can practice your fun toys till the cows come home, and work on Your "I'm very serious!" tone and look, but unless it is balanced out with a healthy dose of Emotional Intelligence and practiced patience Your toolbox might do with some rounding out.
Take it away Ms. Elle X!
~HisslaveMikayla{MstrJ}
