I wanna do it again!

3 weeks ago. August 29, 2024 at 12:12 AM

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"This has been the best most fulfilling summer of my whole life!" These words have been spoken over and over these past two months.

~W/we had a family birthday for my 40th and in the process had life changing deep conversations with family.

~Those conversations directly led to a family member reevaluating their life and making huge and positive choices... and W/we will be forever family; the kind you PICK, not the kind you are born with.

~W/we did almost or just over 30 rounds of golf ... damn! He broke 80!!! A ball now dubbed the "Jesus ball" "walked on water" to save that 78! It's forever sitting on the desk. (oh! I need the donut ball out of your bag!)

~W/we went to a party and made two AMAZING friends. I'd say they are our first "married couple" friends. Okay, so none of us are married... but we're gonna be! Seriously, I adore them and they adore us.

~I met His "work wife/wives" shhhh they will fight over Him... no seriously. And I adore them and they adore me. I know for dead sure He is in very good/safe hands when I'm not here. I know all I have to do is poke them on Whatsapp and they will hug the shit out of Him for me.. and that is peace of mind.

~W/we did a ton of outdoor fun stuff... camping, rafting, kayaking... and had some life changing deep moments which will now be a tradition for U/us.

~W/we made lifestyle friends and had some pretty "big" experiences in that regard.

~W/we also had our first difficult moments, and handled them well too. <3

~I ran a 5K obstacle course with all of the ladies in His family and He and His dad came out to support.

~W/we did some home care projects (and I found out that He has a sensitive stomach ROFL... He would NEVER change diapers that's for sure!)

Most of all W/we filled our hug-o-meters and reaffirmed exactly how perfect W/we work together.

At one time I explained that if W/we are puzzle pieces some puzzle pieces can fit together in a plethora of ways... and still make beautiful pictures, and other puzzle pieces are annoyingly intricate. They really only work *one way*. He is the first, and I'm the second. I'm so grateful that He found me, that He has been so beyond patient (I swear this Man is a saint), and how trustworthy He has been. I'm never ever going to be able to explain all of the ways that He is incredible, but one more time I'm saying "Thank You for loving me. Thank You for finding me. Thank You for all of the ways You support our kiddo and me. Thank You for Home."

Now the unthinkable part.... Friday I have to get on a plane and leave. I have to go back halfway around the globe to a place that is far less stable and feels NOTHING like Home, and I have to be the adult and "do the right thing". I do not want to. Every fiber of my being is screaming at the top of my lungs and ripping my heart out because I wan to be RIGHT HERE. I want to be here at Home caring for the space, making Him insanely good food, I want to get into a better health regime, I want to be laying beside Him at night and be there when He wakes up every morning. I want to be His caddy and secretary, and all of the other very good and totally dirty things that I am for and with Him.... but for now, that can't be. The slightly better news is that this year we should get to see each other 3 times not 2.... and that sounds only marginally better, but honestly if W/we can make it to January/Feb then it's just a little hop to March/April and then June/July is in sight. We can do this! Just keep swimming just keep swimming... so until then I'm going to hang onto Home.