First, i must apologize that this part II is so so late, i had my notes written for it but life took over and I am sorry. But better late than never.
Secondly, this blog is about how to help your self with your depression. Things we can do to help ourselves.
So lets start
You are depressed, you have feelings of sadness, low self esteem, weight loss or weight gain, sleep problems, too much sleep or not enough sleep, you find yourself waking up early in the morning and can’t go back to bed, feelings of hopeless and helplessness, suicidal thoughts, and not having any pleasure in life, or doing things that were once pleasurable but are not now. Everyone gets depressed, (please read earlier blog). There is no shame in this. Depression does not limit itself to one particular group or status. It affects everyone and everyone must learn to fight it.
Depression likes to attack earlier mental mechanisms that one has, for example, early vulnerability factors, like attachment disruption, neglect, or abuse. ( I am depressed because my father left me, and my family at an early age, or my mom never paid any attention to me as a young child, so I am even more depressed now, or my traumatic event of G-D forbid being abused, I am depressed now because I was abused at a young age.) Depression likes to link up with these early events and create an even more serious depression.
Depression likes to also link up with triggering events (i.e. loss of close relationships, being defeated or trapped in a low socially rewarding or hostile environments) I am depressed, because i lost my close relationship with my friend, or because I live with people that II don’t like.
Further, Depression likes to link up with psychological preoccupations of people (i.e. sense of unloveableness, seeing yourself as inferior, low self esteem, or a failure. So often my patients tell me, “ I am not good enough, I am not pretty enough, I am not skinny enough, I am not enough for him, No one will ever love me.”
We need to fight these attachments and identify what is currently making us depressed and also what is in our past that is causing us these feelings. Identify these things as two separate events, traumas, that are not attached, that are not together and have differences, not similarities. I am depressed now, because of self isolation, not because of my past abuse, and not because my father left me at an early age and I can not find a man. How do we do this? We change our ways of coping and change our coping style.
Coping Mechanism #1
Make lifestyle changes to boost your mood. Take control of your life to alleviate feelings of low self esteem and low self confidence. Start slowly and perhaps take this, one day at a time. Today, I am going to smile at 10 people in the office, today I am going to count my thoughts and over a period of time (say one hour), I am going to have more positive thoughts than negative ones, and each day , expand this another hour or so, to the point where this becomes second nature, and you can do this, in ur sleep. Learn to fake it and then you can make it, is the old saying. It’s true, i think.
Minimize your stress. Identify the sources of stress that you have in your life and take steps to reduce it. Little steps is what makes the difference, don’t go into this, feeling you have to make big big changes, this is just a set up for failure.
Coping Mechanism #2
Talk to a therapist, Psychotherapy will focus on helping people adjust their lifestyle in ways that are possible to minimize stress and cope with stressors. These people are trained professionals who can help.
Coping Mechanism #3
Express yourself in writing. Writing a journal or blog will relieve stress, and create positive feelings about yourself, and this is what’s its all about. You can relieve stress by being open about your thoughts, feelings, and concerns in your writing. Concentrate on releasing your bent up frustration in your writing too.
Coping Mechanism #4
Boost your self image. Positive thinking will allow you to focus on your strengths, and your best qualities. Now before i hear, but i have no strengths, or best qualities. Everyone does, everyone has some strengths or qualities that are solely their own. Focus on that, identify it and broaden it. Make it more of ur own! Make lifestyle changes that impower your self esteem, such as eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, spending time with friends who make you feel good.
Coping Mechanism #5
Stick to a schedule. Many times, their motivation will drop, and people with depression will begin to feel unproductive and useless. Develop and maintain a schedule which will provide a source of enjoyment and will maintain a feeling of being productive.
Coping Mechanism #6
Stay involved. You may want to withdraw but don’t, this just leads to low self esteem or lack of interest. Force yourself to continue to participate in what ever, a social life is important. Do not withdraw and isolate yourself.
Coping Mechanism #7
Depend on others. Friends and family can help you feel better, they can encourage you to eat healthy, diet, exercise and generally take steps to care for your self, which will improve your positive mood and create feelings of happiness. Join a support group, being a part of the community can help in maintaining a positiveness about you.
i hope this is helpful, and to all the essential people that are helping and maintaining America Strong. We stand with you, shoulder to shoulder, in fighting this disease.
Rob
