SHRINK TALK, THE DOCTOR IS IN

A Story 

My parents were married for 55 years. One morning, my mom was going downstairs to make dad breakfast, she had a heart attack and fell. My father picked her up as best he could and almost dragged her into the truck. At full speed, without respecting traffic lights, he drove her to the hospital.

When he arrived, unfortunately, she was no longer with us.

During the funeral, my father did not speak; his gaze was lost. He hardly cried.

That night, his children joined him. In an atmosphere of pain and nostalgia, we remembered beautiful anecdotes and he asked my brother, a theologian, to tell him where Mom would be at that moment. My brother began to talk about life after death, and guesses as to how and where she would be.

My father listened carefully. Suddenly he asked us to take him to the cemetery.

Dad!" we replied, "it's 11 at night, we can't go to the cemetery right now!"

He raised his voice, and with a glazed look he said:

"Don't argue with me, please don't argue with the man who just lost his wife of 55 years."

There was a moment of respectful silence, we didn't argue anymore. We went to the cemetery, we asked the night watchman for permission. With a flashlight, we reached the tomb. My father caressed her, prayed, and told his children, who watched the scene moved:

"It was 55 years... you know? No one can talk about true love if they have no idea what it's like to share life with a woman."

He paused and wiped his face. "She and I, we were together in that crisis. I changed jobs ..." he continued. "We packed up when we sold the house and moved out of town. We shared the joy of seeing our children finish their careers, we mourned the departure of loved ones side by side, we prayed together in the waiting room of some hospitals, we support each other in pain, we hug each Christmas, and we forgive our mistakes...

Children, now it's gone, and I'm happy, do you know why?

Because she left before me. She didn't have to go through the agony and pain of burying me, of being left alone after my departure. I will be the one to go through that, and I thank God. I love her so much that I wouldn't have liked her to suffer..."

When my father finished speaking, my brothers and I had tears streaming down our faces. We hugged him, and he comforted us, "It's okay, we can go home, it's been a good day."

That night I understood what true love is; It is far from romanticism, it does not have much to do with eroticism, or with sex, rather it is linked to work, to complement, to care and, above all, to the true love that two really committed people profess ".

Peace in your hearts.

Love and Light.

Today, we're sharing a story from reader Alizah F. from Salt Lake City, Utah.

"Last week, I got the results back from one of my medical school exams and didn't pass the final by 0.08%. I was devastated because I spent weeks studying this material and had put in countless midnights in the library mastering the content. I felt shame and hopelessness associated with my failure and so it was hard for me to confide in my friend Daryl. When I finally told her what had happened, she immediately came to my aid and refused to entertain any doubts I had about my ability to become a doctor. She affirmed my identity, my knowledge, and my purpose in medicine. Sometimes, I think kindness is just believing in your friend even when they don't believe in themselves."

Regardless of whether you’re a Biden or Trump person, women’s rights are important. Specifically, women’s reproductive powers are not what the Supreme Court has stated. “ that women are without political power and have no influence in the electoral vote”. I say to every women now, prove them wrong. Prove the Supreme Court wrong and show them, the power of what women can do.  I have never been more embarassed to be a citizen of the United States, when Roe v. Wade was over turned, 

I was so proud of people showing their strength in numbers. It was so nice to see their white shirts tonight to show their solidarity and bring back Roe v. Wade. (In the State of the Union address tonight, people wore white to show that women’s reproductive rights are important). 

My favorite color is now white!!

stay safe.

This is probably going to tick some people off, and I hope it does. But I’m going to keep on sharing it and saying it. And once again, I am not a Swiftie, but I am a human being, a Dad AND, a Monstrous Football fan.

I am extremely disappointed in so many of you who think that "not being a fan" of someone means you're entitled to shit all over them.

I want to remind you of something.

Your children are watching you complain about Taylor Swift sitting at a football game, being happy, and cheering for a man she loves in what appears to be a very loving, respectful relationship.

Your Children are watching you judge a woman for literally just EXISTING and taking up space happily.

And you know what? Ms. Swift has won 324 awards? How many do you have?

She brought $5 BILLION dollars in consumer spending and boosted the U. S. economy so significantly, that leaders from other countries actually beg for her to play there?

Did you know that there are over 20 college courses about her skills as an artist, lyricist, and musician - including at places like Harvard, Stanford & UC Berkeley?

Did you know that Taylor Swift quietly donates mass amounts of money to local food banks in every city she performs in?

AND DID YOU KNOW …

That Taylor Swift was sexually assaulted by a radio DJ, and she got him fired? When he sued HER for over $3 million for defamation, she counter sued for a symbolic $1 in a court case that took 2 YEARS for her to win. And, she did that just to show women that fighting for what's right has no price tag & to never be silent in the face of oppression.

WELL IF YOU DON’T CARE BY NOW, YOU SHOULD.

Because your daughters, nieces, and your nephews are watching you run your mouth. And they are seeing the world hate a woman who does so much good, simply because she exists in their line of sight.

DO BETTER PEOPLE.

Teach your boys to respect women. Teach your girls that as women - they are ALLOWED to take up space.

Fix it. Become aware of your words. Because we all have the ability and the obligation to fight for the future of our children with simple moments. And we need to consciously choose to be better for them.

Author. JR 

Let’s take a look at the submissive or a bottom and their experience during a bdsm scene. The submissive’s experience is commonly referred to as subspace and subdrop. There are two kinds of subspace. The first is physiological subspace. It usually occurs and is sustained through pain play. The second is a psychological subspace which is brought about when a sub is drawn to their Dom, irrespective of any physiological factors of pain play, or the endorphins that are produced. Endorphins are hormones produced within the brain’s nervous system and causes an analgesic response. They are the body’s natural painkillers, and also produces a euphoria and sense of well being. This second subspace, the intense attraction towards and for their Dom, is very common and is often talked about in any submissive’s profile. “I will not allow any man to just talk to me for two minutes and allow them to control and be my Dom. That will not happen. It takes time, emotion, love and trust to create this”. SO RIGHT. These subs know what this second subspace is and its importance. 

The journey towards subspace through pain play has two stages. Stage 1 is where the sub might tease or provoke their Dom and is often called SAM—smart ass masochist space. It is light hearted banter, sarcastic behaviors, where the sub consciously knows that this will create a rise and behaviors from their Dom. I also believe this is what’s known as Brat behavior. 
 

The second stage is called the “blonde space”. (No offense to blondes, i love blondes). During this stage, the sub behaves absentmindedly, forgetting commands and even their speech can become affected. The release of these natural chemicals, epinephrine, endorphins, and enkephalins can create a floating experience or a euphoria. It is a space, which can become trance like, pain is gone, problems disappear and your floating and experiencing pleasure. It’s intense and addictive. Once experienced, the sub wants it again and again and may go to great lengths to achieve this. A sub’s creativity towards producing bratty behavior is tremendous. I marvel at their creativity, and determination. For me, this trance is similar to a runner’s high. A runner’s high is the feeling of pure elation, reduced stress, and a decrease ability to feel pain due to a flood of endorphins released by exercise. One may ask, which high is more intense, more significant, and I don’t know the answer to that. Perhaps a sub who has experienced both can give us this answer? Subs often become very emotional and can become highly sensitive to touch. Often times, a sub can not talk and it is important for their Doms to understand and identify accurately these signs. It is important that their Dom does not recognize their sub’s silence as permission to give them more pain. This is a mistake, look at the physical signs of your sub, their labored breathing, their disorientation, slurred speech, silence, and or dizziness. This is a period where the sub can not accurately interpret their needs and even if they have a safe word, because of their inability to speak, and or recognize their true needs, the safe word becomes ineffective. Please Doms do not feel, that because their sub has this safe word, and it is not consciously spoken or used, that it is safe to proceed. It is not safe to proceed.

This stage can lead to primal behavior. Primal behaviors can lead to a flight or fight response. The sub’s behavior is for food, water, survival, and love. This is known as the subdrop. Everyone who experiences the high, must come down from this natural elation. One can not sustain this, the drop creates exhaustion, incoherence, incoordination, and sedation. (Sleepiness). This is where AFTERCARE is so so important and it is the job of their Dom to do this for his sub. It is vital that their Dom’s care for their welfare of them at this time occur. They, (sub) are unable to provide this for themselves. I am reminded of the great scene, in 50 Shades of Grey, (i know, i know, its not accurate) but allow a moment of digression, Christian picks her up and carries her to his bedroom, lovingly, and gives her food, and water, and puts lotions and creams on her wounds. (I loved their love story).

Reprinted from earlier 

Never Again is the phrase that came out of the Nazi persecution of Jews, and others in Nazi Germany. The other night i watched a documentary on the Holocaust  Museum in Washington D.C.  Wolf Biltzer was the commentator, and he interviewed his father and mother who were survivors of the camps. It’s been 79 years since Allied troops first started liberating the concentration camp prisoners. 79 years ago and we are still in situations where people are killing off others to make them supreme. 

In late 1944 and early 1945, as Allied troops defeated the German army and moved across Europe into Germany, they encountered tens of thousands of concentration camp prisoners.

Soviet forces were the first to approach a major Nazi camp, reaching Majdanek near Lublin, Poland, in July 1944. Later, the Soviets liberated Auschwitz, the largest killing center and concentration camp, in January 1945. In the following months, the Soviets liberated additional camps in the Baltic states, Poland, and eventually in Germany itself. In April and May 1945, the British liberated Nazi camps in northern Germany, including Bergen-Belsen and Neuengamme.

The first Nazi camp liberated by US forces was Ohrdruf, a subcamp of Buchenwald (the main camp would be liberated one week later). The 4th Armored Division and the 89th Infantry of the Third US Army entered Ohrdruf on April 4, 1945.  When soldiers of the 4th Armored Division entered the camp, they discovered piles of bodies, some covered with lime, and others partially incinerated on pyres. The ghastly nature of their discovery led General Dwight D. Eisenhower, Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces in Europe, to visit the camp on April 12, with Generals George S. Patton and Omar Bradley. After his visit, Eisenhower cabled General George C. Marshall, the head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff in Washington, describing his trip to Ohrdruf:

The things I saw beggar description. … The visual evidence and the verbal testimony of starvation, cruelty and bestiality were so overpowering as to leave me a bit sick ... . I made the visit deliberately, in order to be in a position to give first-hand evidence of these things if ever, in the future, there develops a tendency to charge these allegations merely to “propaganda.”  This description of General Eisenhower’s visit to Ohrdruf came be seen in the Holocaust Museum among other things. (Shoes, lots of shoes, which is the only surviving thing , the actual bunkers of some of the camps). It is horrific.

For the dead and the living, we must be witness to this genocide. We must continue to education, and communicate future generations, that this did occur, that this continues and we must put a stop to this killing.  

The man brought the four cards, the four boxes of candy, and the four sets of flowers up to the cashier for checkout. The cashier rolled her eyes at him as she looked at his wedding band and mumbled…”these players make me sick.” This caused everyone else to look at the man funny too.

So the man responded…”one set is for my mom because my dad passed away and he used to do this for my mom…and he taught me how to give love.

The next set is for my wife because I love her and she teaches me how to receive and treasure love.

And the third set is for my daughter…because it’s up to me to teach her how she should be treated and who she should give her love to.

And you can have my fourth set because I just wanted you to know that a man can show you love and understanding and not want anything from you. Have a blessed day.”

She melted and everyone else did too. just goes to show you don’t judge someone you know nothing about!! love it.❤️

Do you ever surround yourself with lower companions or “people lower “ than yourself who will not ever leave you because you make them feel better by association?

Do you gravitate toward emotionally withholding men/or women who reflect your false sense of your own worthlessness?

When you can not draw ego sustenance from your accolades, do you have grandiose fantasies about who you might become to show either mom or dad what a mistake they have made by abandoning 

If you have answered ‘yes’ to any of these three questions, then maybe your life defining experience is abandonment. 

DO NOT LET OR ALLOW ANYONE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE DEFINING EXPERIENCE ABANDONMENT.

Taken from the Resident.  

NEW YEAR’S EVE AND DAY

The Civil War: On Dec. 30, 1862, Union troops near Murfreesboro, Tenn., played “Yankee Doodle” and “Hail Columbia.” Their Confederate foes answered with “Dixie,” and the two sides ended the night playing “Home, Sweet Home” together. The battle that followed, fought between New Year’s Eve and Jan. 2, 1863, was among the war’s deadliest.
Also on New Year’s Eve 1862, abolitionists held vigils as they waited for President Lincoln to issue the Emancipation Proclamation. He did so the next day, freeing enslaved people in the states that had seceded from the Union. The vigils became the origin of the New Year’s Eve services that some African American churches still hold.
World War I: America entered World War I in 1917, and Times Square on New Year’s Eve that year was “thoroughly sedate and solemn,” The Times reported. Soldiers and sailors, forbidden to drink, sat in restaurants and hotels. Sugar was rationed, and dinner at the Waldorf Astoria was meatless. Broadway, “ankle-deep in confetti” a year before, was “gloomy, deserted and silent.”
Flu pandemic: New Year’s Eve 1918 also took place during a pandemic. A brutal fall and winter wave had killed tens of thousands of Americans. By Dec. 31, some cities had loosened their public health measures, inviting a more joyous holiday. “Hotels and clubs and other places where revelers congregate to greet the new year are overdoing themselves in the way of entertainment,” The Chicago Daily News reported.

HOPE EVERYONE IS SAFE.

rob 

Today, the world lost a treasured and valuable man. John Madden died today, causes unknown, at the age of 85. He is in the hall of fame as a player, coach and commentator. Coach Madden was known for his passion for the game and was commonly known as a a player’s coach. He always allowed them to play, and was only concerned with their performance on the field. The world lost a treasured person today.