finding love
I went up to change and saw myself in the mirror and realized I was a mess hair all over the place make-up smeared no wonder he kissed the top of my head who would want to kiss that. After my shower with the questions fixed in my mind then the doubts came up who you are kidding Jill who would want you? you are not someone who can run a business, you can't contribute anything all you know how to do is ride horses and be a cop there's no need for that here hell you can't even do the basic of being a woman and have kids sitting on the bed the tears started and would not stop. Then I felt a hand come around me and pull me into a motherly embrace I hugged back it was Rita, she just held me until I stopped, I looked up and she said tell me what's wrong I don't know why but I did. When I was all done, and I stopped crying again she said young one you have much to learn about love none of what you just said has anything to do with love especially where he and they are concerned and by them, I mean those that live this kind of life and I mean living with more than one love in their lives.
Let me tell you a little story of how I met the lady and sir my grandfather had this land before Sir James I lived with him in a little one room sod house as a matter of fact if you look at the big ranch my home with my grandpa took up the space of the kitchen, he built the ranch house around that that's why the only stone you see is the walls of grandpa's house. Part of the deal he made with my grandfather was that I stay on the property until I marry well, I was 17 and just got my G.E.D. not exactly smart but not dumb either so he let me go to college while he rebuilt this place. Did you see the little cabin, up on the hill on the way in? well Sir James built that place first and put my grandfather in there with someone to help while I was away, I learned how to run an estate so that I could handle that big place and this little one as well. I was told he would go up and sit and talk with the old man almost every night he was here when I got home the ranch was how you see it now. Before he left me, he told me Rita that man is a gentleman I don't mean a man he has honor and cares for those who work for him you can tell by the way he treated the men building that place. And the party he through when the build was done, he had a three-day party for them. His lady is something else she just has a way about her she treats people with respect at all times even an old hanger-on like me. I know you will be happy here working for him so choose a man wisely listen and learn her ways she will help you a great deal in life and take her advice when it comes to men after all she choose him didn't, she. As far as the kid thing well I can't have them either and John and I are verry happy. She got up walked over to my drawer pulled out a bathing suit picked up my dirty clothes turned looked at me and said go splash your face with cold water go see the Lady Jane and hopefully start your life.
After splashing my face and some visine I went over to talk to Jane and on the way, I walked into part of my future Sir Tim he was a nice man in the way THE WAY is what we ladies call the manors of a Dom it is a voice and stance and eye contact it is just something once seen and felt you know what he is from the start you quickly trust that this man will stand and defend you just because you are female. And all he said was hello miss. Jillian. That was all it took, I said please just call me Jill. Thank you, can we talk a few minutes he reached over and made me something to eat while I sat down. He came over and put a big breakfast in front me and more coffee (until then I suddenly felt hungry) he started by asking about the feed I was giving my horse we talked a few minutes about this and that and realized that I was calm and collected and ready to talk to Jane and the others (he still has that effect on me today). When he stood and before turning to leave, he smiled and said go on life is waiting for you put his hat on as he turned and walked away.
When I sat down by Jane, she was looking towards Tim and said he's going to be a real catch for someone someday, when I turned to look at her, she had what we call the look she was kind of looking at something that no one else could see (later after reading her journal she was seeing a vision of the five of us walking together). I am not going to bore you with all the details of that conversation it was filled with all the questions any person who is thinking of entering a poly as well as D/s relationship but the one that convinced me to learn. When, I asked her why me? Her answer was very simple. She told me he likes you and the important part for us is you will be the one who walks the mountains as he calls it by his side.
Jill
