A DOM's muse

It troubles me the amount of times I read or have been told about so called Dominants who say they are looking for a Submissive when the truth is they were looking for a slave or worse still someone to abuse mentally, physically or both. Someone to make them feel powerful, needed and in control.

It is also troubling to see Sub's who think that this sort of behaviour is acceptable.  The physical and emotional scars this leaves have long term detrimental effects.

We as Doms have a responsibility not only to ourselves but to the ones who choose to come to us as Submissive to be open and truthful about what we want and how we see ourselves playing out those wants.

We can spend hours, days, weeks and perhaps even months trolling the internet and it's various sites, The Cage included looking for our next Sub.  The question is what are we looking for and how honest are we about what that is?

If we move from one Sub to the next as easily as we change our socks then what does that say about our intent and the depth of our commitment.  

Is it just the chase we seek, the thrill of collecting another Sub.  Perhaps it's the opportunity to abuse, yes I use the word abuse, another Sub that responds to our advances.   I challenge us all  to be honest with ourselves and those we seek.

If you see your Sub as an avenue to exert you perception of power then you are no more a DOM than you are tree.  A true DOM gains his/her power from the Submissive.  It is the gift the Submissive entrusts to the DOM.  It is about the Submissive.  The DOM takes that submission as a sign of trust and respect.  In return the DOM honours the Sub with guidance, protection, purpose.

I guess I'm just frustrated with seeing the wreckage these so called DOMs leave behind. 

I also realize that to those of us who do not realise our responsibility as DOMs what I have said will make no sense at all.    They will continue to troll the world looking for their next victim. 

For those of you who do realise your responsibility make it known.  Teach the Subs of this world what it's like to be under a true DOM.  Knowledge is power.  Let's empower our community to respect each other.  To grow, play, learn and live in safety.  

Know the difference between strength and abuse.

Know the difference between guidance and control

Know the difference between selfless and selfish

Know what it is to be a DOM....

I'm been thinking lately that in a world with over 7 billion people how realisticis it to expect to find that special someone living in the same town as you let alone country.

With modern technology connection with people around the globe is easy, maybe too easy.  The problem then is moving the connection to the next level.

So here is the question I pose

If it's unrealistic to expect to find that special person at your back door.  How do you build a meaningful relationship from the other side of the world?

I have found that being a DOM brings with it a unique level of vunrablity and pain.

As you take responsibility for the care and nurture of you sub you invest not only time but more and more of yourself.  They become an extension of you.  

It therefore comes as an incredibly painful experience when you understand you Sub no longer want to be under you.  You feel you have failed as a DOM.  You have failed to fulfill the needs of you Sub.  You have failed as an effective DOM.

The gut wrenching pain you feel as you Sub is torn away from you is overwhelming.  

As a responsible Dom you have no choice but to release you Sub to be free to find the fulfillment that you have failed to give them.

Perhaps this is just my experience, my level of commitment my passion.  Perhaps it's just that the special Sub I once had was just that, so special.