The past month or so has been a rough one for me emotionally. Now that things seem to be on the path to normalizing, i'm sitting here reflecting on my interests and where i want to go from here.
I find that things that once held great interest to me do not sound as appealing anymore. As an example, one of the toppy things that i partake in is Shibari rope bondage. The last few times i have tied a rope bunny up, i have felt no joy in doing so; this used to fill my heart with joy and fulfillment in the past, and the story is the same for many of my BDSM related interests.
I believe i am in the middle of change on many different fronts, including personality, interest, and attraction. Some of you on here that i talk to regularly will no doubt have noticed my decline in responses and the length of my response times becoming greater and greater.
To those people, i am sorry.
I am struggling to maintain the connections i made in the online realm, and i fear i have disappointing them in the process. Perhaps the online realm of relationships just is not my cup of tea, or perhaps i just need time to heal and adjust; relearn my interests and explore myself a bit.
Right now i am focusing on my physical and mental well being, the kinky stuff will come in time when it is organic. I am learning the definition of patience.