We go through life, sometimes alone, sometimes with another, but we go through life. And when something dies that we thought never could, be it a loved one, or what we felt was a lifetime relationship, or any other cornerstone of our world we find ourselves lost...adrift in a stormy sea alone. The waves pounding on our heart, the wind seemingly trying to rip apart what is left of our soul after the wreckage.left us there, broken, battered, alone at sea. This is also when predators seem to prefer to strike, appearing underneath us from the blind side, circling, plotting, whispering those oh so tempting promises of safety and healing, when what they really want is to use us for whatever pleasure or gain they may be able to get, not knowing or not caring that it may spell the end for us if we give in, yet all we can think about it what was lost.
Friends try to console us with words, but words are never enough. They are like whispers on the wind, barely audible, faint glimmers of sunshine peering through the distant horizon, and so very far away from where we are now, that is seems unlikely we will ever reach that peaceful place, and escape the storm.
So we hold on to the wreckage, surviving minute by minute at times, unable to picture escaping the stormy sea, only trying to survive this minute, this moment, until the next moment arrives and we repeat the process again. Over and over the process repeats, the minutes tick by, the hours pass unnoticed, day turns to night, and night into day, days into weeks, and weeks into months.
Suddenly, we find the sea a bit calmer, the wind just a bit less brutal, and we know it is time to begin to heal. We have endured the pain, survived the barrage, and the edge of the storm is just a bit closer. It is now that our minds overpower our hearts, shutting them down, encasing them in a very necessary impenetrable shell, unreachable, protected, safe. With clarity of mind and purpose, we begin to paddle, working our way out of the storm, until we are in calm waters, still alone, but in calm waters.
So we start to plan our ultimate escape, and in the distance we see an island, and we make our way toward it. As we wash up on the beach, still tattered and battered, we at least know we have found some security. We build a shelter, find food, lick our wounds and continue reinforcing the hardened case our heart was placed in out at sea. Once we are certain it is safe, we begin looking for a way off the island, back to civilization, back to our life.
This is the decision point people. This is when we must decide if we are going to uncase our heart, and become a whole person again. Or will we allow the previous experience to prevent us from any chance at finding happiness again? We are in the rebuilding stage, the stage where we are laying the foundation for our future. Yes, we can rebuild completely and keep the heart safely encased, but it will mean a life without the possibility of a true love, the True Dynamic. Because you see, we need our heart to get that, we will have to trust it to another, as they trust theirs with us. If we want to be able to give and receive love, we have to open our hearts here at the rebuilding stage, so it gets stronger and healthier with the rest of us.
I know alot of people will disagree with this, they will say "until you are fully healed you cannot give to another", but I respectfully disagree. I believe that if you have rebuilt enough of yourself where you are done grieving and pining away for the thing lost, then you are capable of once again entering into a dynamic. But you must be careful, do not just jump on a ship because it is passing by. Take your time, learn about who it is you are talking to. Get to really know them, and for Gods sake, do it on the phone or in person. Alot can be learned that way, from inflections, tones, and body language, and best of all - predators don't have the time they need to edit and rewrite their bullshit.
The True Dynamic, once found, will not only heal your remaining wounds, but it will surge a level of power into your lives that will enshroud you both, keep you and protect you, you will fill their valleys, reinforce their weaknesses, as they will do for you. And each of us must remember, the other will have some protections in place, or maybe even just need to learn how to trust you, be patient, be kind, be understanding.
Anyhwo, just my 2 cents on healing and moving forward, take it for whatever you will.