Life has it's little mysteries, games it plays, and sometimes we simply have to gain some life experience before we are allowed to progress to the next level of a game. So i think it is with sexuality, and our ability to see it for what it REALLY is.
Let's be honest guys - a young man generally sees sexual intimacy as a conquest, a challenge, all inspired by the way it felt PHYSICALY to be inside somebody else, and to having been found desirable enough to get to play in the first place. Yet his vision of the reality is blocked with an opaque lens, he usually does not see or understand the effects of his actions.
Now comes young women. Taught from early on what a "special experience" sex should be. and Lord knows how many moral judgements get stacked in THAT deck! So she meets the young man, he talks his "game", and they wind up horizontal. her vision is far from transparent, muddled with all the programming her elders could stuff in that head, but closer than his, so she is seeing this whole thing through translucent glasses.
Well, on to the mid thirties. He has had enough sexual experiences now to satisfy whatever childish motivations ruled his day, exited his sexual prime with a fairly wide damage swath, and wants to "get serious" now... and she has probably been hurt and or felt used enough that she likely has relaxed her viewpoints considerably. She is now entering HER sexual prime, and knows how to get what she wants, and can play those boys like a cheap harmonica if she wants to. Tables have turned, hunted becomes the hunter, and the view of both is translucent. No real truth to be found.
Well, now we are entering the latter years, prolly the 45+ age group to be honest. What remains of our group? Those that aren't married with families, and those that have left them or lost them for whatever reason. Now the successful married folk generally are seeing the world for what it is. They KNOW the value of intimacy, the binding it can bring, the joining of souls that they have experienced first hand. BUt what about our "not married" folk?
Well, they too have achieved transparency in their viewpoints. Not all will want what it has to offer, and some will make the conscious decision to continue to simply fuck for fuckings sake, to pursue only the physical pleasures, and they have the right to do so.
But others, and I think perhaps the majority of them fall here .. no longer want to just go around fucking for the sake of doing so. They see these encounters as hollow, shallow, meaningless moments that simply leave them physically satisfied but emotionally wanting. They want these experiences to have meaning, to use their power to create a bond, a relationship, a life.
But what about BDSM? Truthfully, are they seeking a fast thrill? Or have they, like (I feel the majority) of the rest of us in this group, been drawn into the lifestyle BECAUSE of of the deep emotional and spiritual bonds that are formed when combined with another in the "True Dynamic".
But like the act of sex itself, the many and varied activities that we can experience in the lifestyle magnify their vanilla counterparts ten fold at least, so we decide we want them to have meaning as well. So we search, and we wait, and God willing we find our other half, both now seeing through transparent lenses, knowing what CAN become our reality, just waiting to share the view together.
Just another ID rambling...
~ID~