Its be noted that no man should take on a submissive if he is not willing to accept the responsibility that comes with it. Subs are fragile creatures, whatever the dynamic: DDLG, Master/Slave, the duty of care is the same. Being Dominant isn’t always about being right, or being in charge, it is mastering that combination of a strong but soft disposition, understanding your sub’s needs and making sure she never feels alone in this journey. A sub bounces off her Dom’s energy, so regularly checking in on her can make all the difference, as sometimes admitting a subdrop can make her feel like she’s not good enough.
The comedown from subspace is ever so bittersweet. The act of submission is freeing but also draining, even for those who are not in a full time D/s relationship. The fragility remains, and this is where she needs to know she matters, not just as a sub, but as a person. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, aftercare is important, but being human even more so – treat her with respect and she will obey, not only because she wants to, but because she needs to.
-Subdrop: an identity crisis-
With the intense nature of a D/s relationship, I think it is easy to see why subdrops are so common. They are certainly more intense than your average relationship- you invest yourself emotionally, and give a lot more of yourself to the other person, a side not just anyone gets to see.
And that is why I say handle with care. It can be easy to find yourself going through the motions in some cases, forgetting that your submissive may not always have the emotional strength some days to carry out certain tasks or duties. Fuck her like she is unbreakable, but care for her like she is a precious stone: rare and beautiful. Remember that BDSM is about so much more than great sex, and just know that if she submits to you it’s because you stimulate her mind as well as her body; a delicious combination of power that will ignite a fire in both of you.
And once you have ignited that desire to submit, it can be difficult to extinguish, but once it’s gone, it can be difficult to find again. Your submissve may feel vulnerable and exposed, but this time the feelings are of confusion and uncertainty rather than freedom and comfort. Behind every sub is a woman who can be strong for herself, but craves someone to be stronger for her – and that role isn’t always as easy as one might think.
A Dominant needs their submissive just as much as their sub needs them – they are a team. Both will likely experience highs and lows during their journey, so it is important for both to communicate openly, and give themselves entirely without fear. Take care of each other, and in doing so, I guarantee that person will teach you to unashamedly embrace your hedonistic desires in a way many couldn’t even dream of doing.
