Ancestory Controvercial Saints

Once upon a time in ROME a lady of Rome Agladae had a steward (butler) named Bonifacius. Now all the things I'm about to say were legal at the time period. He ran her businesses which included prostitution, skilled trades, and land agriculture. The only thing that was strictly illegal was they fell in love. It was illegal because he was her slave. Now he was no saint. They say he was a drunk, but also helped her throw three orgies. Orgies were a sign of economic power and political. might. They were also very popular naturally. Eventually they searched for a new high / experience. A new highly illegal mystery cult was flowing around the capital. Agladae wanted to join, but the cult known as Christianity, but their reputation proceeded them. They were unconvinced, so they sent them on a suicide mission. The clergy sent them to acquire the bones of martyrs, so they could prepare a reliquary for these saints and a small church. She sent Bonifacius and two other servants. I call them Lenny and Squiggy, because they are unnamed. When they were boarding a boat to go to Tarsus Bonifacius told his mistress a bad joke. " If I get myself martyred then you could build a church for me," he boasted. Agladae was unamused and chided him for it.

Upon arriving at Tarsus Bonifacius informed Lenny and Squiggy that he was off to look for martyr bones. They didn't believe him, and thought he was off to find booze and a brothel. Three days later he never returned. They assumed he was in a bar fight, in a ditch, or killed by a prostitute. Eventually they came across this man who knew of him. " He was killed for being a Christian." " No that can't be right this is a complete perverted moron" they replied. " Yup sounds like him" replied the man. Then he took them to the body in question and sure enough it was Bonifacius.


Once off the boat Bonifacius went to where martyr Christians were being tortured. A crowd was naturally watching the show, and Bonifacius slowly made his way to the front. Then he crossed the line, and antagonized the Roman soldiers and torturers. " My fellow Christians endure for the pain you feel is but brief! Heavens glory will shine upon you if you keep going!" Then he fell to his knees kissing their chains and feet. The amused soldiers did the most logical thing. Clubbed the idiot over the head and sent him to the governor. The governor was confused and amused by his antic, and demanded an explanation. " I am a Christian" " Ok, if you are willing to make an offering to the Emperor or gods I'll let you go." " I will not worship false idols Jesus is the one true God" Enraptured by his entertainment he ordered molten lead poured down his throat. Then he cut off his head.


Lenny and Squiggy got permission from the Governor to take his body back to his mistress. When they arrived she already knew from a dream. She built a church and placed Bonifacius in it. Then she sold her possession and lived a humble modest life away from court, and went to this church every day.