A Recovering Pick-me

dollMaker​(dom male) - There is no good or bad submissive, only the right one, or wrong one for the right or wrong dom. Connection, deep connection, with a meeting of minds, needs, desires, patience, being on the same page, same understanding that is where the magic happens. My advice is learn as much as you can about the things you desire, think you might like to try. There are plenty of good resources, books, websites and you tube channels. While there is covid there will be few and really should be no classes in person, but maybe zoom ones. Head knowledge will take you a good distance to gaining understanding of your self and the how to of the various activities that interest you. Too many rush into the physical, the in person with no understanding of themself and what certain activities are, how they are done, how they might feel. Now sure learning about a thing and actually doing it is different, but knowing what to expect is better than going in blind. I will also say that with head knowledge, by learning about the activity, how to do it, safety issues etc you can spot a dom that hasn’t a clue how to do it, who is dangerous. By doing this you are helping yourself, preparing for another part of your journey. Thing is too many rush, and forget this part, important part of the bdsm journey.

I recommend the following excellent, highly regarded resources.

The New Bottoming Book

Screw The Roses Send Me The Thorns Book

The submissives Guide website and excellent You Tube channel

Loving BDSM website and fabulous You Tube channel

Morgan Thorns website and very good You Tube channel.

These are only a few of the resources that are available out there, quality, sound, resources, but there is plenty to keep you reading, thinking and learning for a long time, you may well find that material here sparks new ideas, takes your thoughts in unexpected directions, raises questions. What I will strongly say, you do not need a dom to do any of this stuff, that I would suggest should come later, when you are better prepared and knowledgeable. BDSM will stretch you in every way you can think, and in ways you cant yet, and entering with some tools to help you cope is very sound way to start. Also good to have fellow experienced submissives to help support you and maybe even mentor. Again you do not need, nor is it wise to have a dom do any of that.

Hope the above helps, I wish you the best on your journey.

GiyuuSimp​(switch female) - Thank you for your detailed and thoughtful response and excellent resources. I will take the advice to heart and check out those sources you listed.

dollMaker​(dom male) - You are most welcome

OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} - I am of the mind that you don't need to experience something to know you want it, or just ad importantly, don't want it. As a female, I do not need to wear makeup or dresses to feel like one, I just get to be one. The people you surround yourself with will help you figure out who you are, so choose them wisely, sub and Dom alike. A bad experience, jumped into, could be the completely wrong experience of an otherwise great choice and could scare you away or make you think you don't belong. Knowing yourself is very important. Good luck on that part. That part is harder, because it has nothing to do with the people around you.

If you are an introvert, I think you understand yourself more than you give yourself credit for.

SageFlame​(sub female) - You don't have to live according to others expectations. This is your life! Yours!
As a submissive you have choices , limits and personal boundaries. Submission with the right Dom for you will feel liberating; with bumps and mistakes to work through as with any relationship.
When a Dom is a good fit for you, submission feels authentic. Just be yourself, uncompromisingly your true self.
Your honest communication is a beautiful attribute any Dom would appreciate.