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The blogging blogger

All my ADHD thoughts about random things sexy and non-sexy, my hyper-fixations and such.
2 months ago. March 18, 2023 at 10:44 AM

***This is just a rant, not looking for advice***

I always feel torn. I know for the last 36 years of my life, I’ve been more on the docile, shy side; yet I always had a passion to do more or be more. I’ve always had a strong sense of justice, at least inside, and I’ve been realizing more and more that I’ve been short changing myself in relationships which has fueled a strong feminist side that I hope to pass down to my daughter so she is not taken advantage of. 
Sexually, though, or kink-wise, I think I wouldn’t mind being called derogatory names by a male partner or partners. Sometimes my fantasy includes being fucked/used by a couple or a few men. I still feel weak in the knees when a strong, dominant, self-assured man is nearby me and I guess that makes me feel confused because maybe a part of me doesn’t want to admit I am like a baby deer that needs guidance and easily follows strong-willed people. Also, my lack of experience with kink makes it harder for me to be assured in who I am sexually in body and mind. I’m sure if I had more experienced the confidence in knowing exactly who I am could better equate to what I want in the BDSM/kink world. 
Thank you for reading.

CapnRick​(dom male) - Of course gaining experience will help you better know who you really are, what you really need to feel fulfilled. The hard part is finding one who you can trust enough to explore with in this garden of naughty delights...
2 weeks ago

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