The sound of a large, single bell,
Fills the entire house.
The shaking of our Christmas tree,
Rings faster since I’ve lost my blouse.
The drumming you’re putting on my ass,
Tells me you’re the Big Drummer Boy,
The feeling of your pa-rum-pum-pum-pums,
Convinces me that I’m your favorite toy.
The floor is covered in tinsel and ornaments,
The jingle of my collar is proof of the only bell still hanging,
I hold on to the base of our tree that now has only lights,
Taking me under this tree has left not one ornament dangling.
You blame me for not hanging them properly,
I remind you that decorating the tree took all day,
So I climb on top with vengeance and say “Ho, Ho, Ho,”
With intentions to ride you like a sleigh.
You grab and pull on my bell, looking into my eyes,
“You’re my hoe and bratting will get you coal,
So get back under the tree like a good girl,
I’m not done giving you my North Pole.”
…Yes Sir, Daddy Claus 🫡
