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Letters from the Edge of Tolerance

This is where I document life lived with CPTSD, ADHD, DID, OCD, abandonment trauma, rage, and the long term psychological consequences of instability. Not for sympathy. Not for inspiration. For examination.

I write about trauma the way a mechanic tears down an engine. Piece by piece. What broke. Why it broke. What it still does under stress.

You will find poems that bleed without asking to be saved. Essays that dissect ethical BDSM, power exchange, dominance, consent, and responsibility without romantic illusion. Reflections on betrayal, identity, dissociation, religion, rage, control, and the uncomfortable mathematics of trust.

This is not a healing space. It is an honest one.

I do not frame survival as beautiful. I frame it as necessary.

If you are looking for optimism, look elsewhere.

If you want unfiltered analysis from someone who has lived at the upper edge of tolerance for decades and still functions, read on.

Existence is not always a gift.

Sometimes it is a condition.
5 years ago. Monday, June 8, 2020 at 10:13 PM

I believe that there is many things that goes i to a D/S relationship.

I believe the key points lie in several things:

 

Communication: This is a big one 65% of relationships end up in divorce due to lack of comunication 43% due to the inabilty to properly solve conflicts. The saying communication is key, is definitely the most note worthy, if you cant communicate your feelings, your desires, your wants, your needs, your lusts, it just isnt going to work.

 

Looks: looks are not really important, being sexually attracted to someone solely based on looks is nothing more than lust, no good relationship has come from just being founded on lust. A good relation ship will never be founded with this as a consideration.

 

Honesty: Honesty is a hard point, as a Dominant i have learned that hiding anything from my submissive is bad in every light. You should never hide anything, this ties back to the communication is key. If you cant be honest about what you feel, what you desire, or what you need, and what you have done, it isnt going to work. 20-40% of marriages end due to infidelity. Let that sink in, infidelity  covers a large spectrum thats why i mention it here. IF YOU TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM THIS SECTION ALWAYS BE HONEST EVEN IF IT HURT

Love: Now this aspect is something that really cant be explained or measured, this is a primal instinct. We all feel it, we all crave it and we all deserve it. Now I probably will beat a dead horse with this one so be ready. SUBS, YOU are intitled to this, i spent my first 4 years in this world with a mistress, and that is something i was told time and time again. You deserve it and should recieve it. Domestic violence  is not ok, sexual and physical abuse is not ok, if you dont love them or you suffer from these, SPEAK UP, AND GET OUT OF THERE. You are one of a kind you deserve the best from your Dom. DOMS, it is our responsibility to know the difference, consent is everything, and our subs deserve our love, matter of fact they need our love and want it, just show it to them treat them right. Love is honestly unmeasurable and not something that can be explained, we could spend years trying to measure it trying to explain it, but we will never be able to. It is instictive and there are many things i believe that fall into showing that you love someone.

Now this is running longer than i like so come back tomarrow for chaper two.

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