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Letters from the Edge of Tolerance

This is where I document life lived with CPTSD, ADHD, DID, OCD, abandonment trauma, rage, and the long term psychological consequences of instability. Not for sympathy. Not for inspiration. For examination.

I write about trauma the way a mechanic tears down an engine. Piece by piece. What broke. Why it broke. What it still does under stress.

You will find poems that bleed without asking to be saved. Essays that dissect ethical BDSM, power exchange, dominance, consent, and responsibility without romantic illusion. Reflections on betrayal, identity, dissociation, religion, rage, control, and the uncomfortable mathematics of trust.

This is not a healing space. It is an honest one.

I do not frame survival as beautiful. I frame it as necessary.

If you are looking for optimism, look elsewhere.

If you want unfiltered analysis from someone who has lived at the upper edge of tolerance for decades and still functions, read on.

Existence is not always a gift.

Sometimes it is a condition.
3 years ago. Saturday, December 24, 2022 at 2:40 AM

Behold PAIN 

What is life of not pain?

Would you not lay dead flowers for the torn apart,

In hope to mend a broken heart?

 

Pain brings us together, yet it forces us apart.

We're we all brought into this world equal? No.

We're we brought in wanting to live? Instinctually yes.

What is it then that the human condition demands us to be moral, honest, and understanding. 

 

We are all handed the same question. Life sucks it is going to kick you right in the teeth, and knock your ass into the dirt. It is your choice to stand back up and beat the shit out of life for trying, on wallow in the dirt like a FILTHY BITCH. What do you choose?

 

My answer was easy, both, and yet niether, life has no reason it just is. And as for the human condition, well there is no hope to decipher that.

 

Why then do we bother? Personally I wish people would just leave me alone, but I paste that plastic fake smile on and be polite, even if I want to grab the person by their throat and skin them alive, 1 square centimeter at a time. I am the man of many masks never pretend to know what I am thinking, cause I can almost guarantee that you will be surprised.

 

FMLS

 

 

 

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