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UmbraDominus​(dom male)Verified Account

Letters from the Edge of Tolerance

This is where I document life lived with CPTSD, ADHD, DID, OCD, abandonment trauma, rage, and the long term psychological consequences of instability. Not for sympathy. Not for inspiration. For examination.

I write about trauma the way a mechanic tears down an engine. Piece by piece. What broke. Why it broke. What it still does under stress.

You will find poems that bleed without asking to be saved. Essays that dissect ethical BDSM, power exchange, dominance, consent, and responsibility without romantic illusion. Reflections on betrayal, identity, dissociation, religion, rage, control, and the uncomfortable mathematics of trust.

This is not a healing space. It is an honest one.

I do not frame survival as beautiful. I frame it as necessary.

If you are looking for optimism, look elsewhere.

If you want unfiltered analysis from someone who has lived at the upper edge of tolerance for decades and still functions, read on.

Existence is not always a gift.

Sometimes it is a condition.
3 years ago. Thursday, December 1, 2022 at 2:49 PM

Life is a glorious thing, we strive for happiness, though it evades us for the most part. Why then do we stiggle so hard for a emotional state? Why are we wired to seek it so instinctually that is becomes a incessant desire built upon the constant pain of previous failures?

 

What is it that makes life wonderful, joyous, happy, and glorious. There areany things that can be attributed to this, pain, hope, faith, failure and success, love, etc. And each holds their own meaning depending on who you ask. Life is existance and existance is pain. It is simplistically that, yes there is more to it, but think about it. For there to be life, it has to exist. And if it exists, there is some sort of pain associated with it.

 

The human perspective is broad and all incompasing you can't simplify it into just a few words, I understand that. However the human condition is in essence existance, I think therefore I am. 

 

Life is a long journey we strive for happiness, and more often than not seek it in others, but riddle me this how can you make someone else happy, if you cannot make yourself happy? If existance is pain and life is existance, than by that logic life is pain, yet that is not exactly the case, now is it?

 

Upon thine tide time flows unyielding and ever marching, strive not for things unobtainable, let ye seek the pain of eons past.

 

Brought to you by the mind of a psychotic sapiosexual. 

 

 

 

P.S: When asked what is wrong with me, I always respond with. "The better question is what isn't wrong with me."


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