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Letters from the Edge of Tolerance

This is where I document life lived with CPTSD, ADHD, DID, OCD, abandonment trauma, rage, and the long term psychological consequences of instability. Not for sympathy. Not for inspiration. For examination.

I write about trauma the way a mechanic tears down an engine. Piece by piece. What broke. Why it broke. What it still does under stress.

You will find poems that bleed without asking to be saved. Essays that dissect ethical BDSM, power exchange, dominance, consent, and responsibility without romantic illusion. Reflections on betrayal, identity, dissociation, religion, rage, control, and the uncomfortable mathematics of trust.

This is not a healing space. It is an honest one.

I do not frame survival as beautiful. I frame it as necessary.

If you are looking for optimism, look elsewhere.

If you want unfiltered analysis from someone who has lived at the upper edge of tolerance for decades and still functions, read on.

Existence is not always a gift.

Sometimes it is a condition.
1 year ago. Sunday, July 14, 2024 at 4:02 AM

 

Madness grips the heart so tight,

A lover's touch in the dead of night.

Pain courses through with every breath,

A dance with shadows, a waltz with death.

 

In the depths of love's embrace,

Fear's cold fingers trace my face.

Walking on a razor's edge,

Each step a promise, each word a pledge.

 

Eyes that burn with fevered light,

Haunted dreams that steal the night.

Whispers echo in the mind,

Truth and lies so intertwined.

 

A heart consumed by love's sweet fire,

Bound by chains of dark desire.

Pain and pleasure, intertwined,

Lost in madness, undefined.

 

Death's shadow looms, a specter's cheer,

Drawing close, and ever near.

But still, I walk this narrow way,

In love and madness, I will stay.

 

On this edge, I'll make my stand,

Holding tight to your hand.

In this dance of love and fear,

Madness is the price, my love, my dear.

 


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