Indigo Blue

Hello Indigo Fam, 

   I struggle every day with my depression. I blog to find peace in this world of chaos. Our search for a playmate has come to an end...too stressful. My Dom is my rock...but I push him away. Alone I feel and alone I shall stay. 

Silent, but obedient 

Sometimes I feel like my head will explode 

Sometimes I feel better off dead 

Sometimes I feel like I am on the outside looking in, watching every one else pass though life. Happy, normal. 

What is normal?

My normal is being a submissive trying to please her Dominant in every way possible. Sometimes I feel like a failure at that too. Someone told me to be loved by someone is second to loving yourself first. If this is true I don't think I will ever be loved.