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Inside the Mind of a Curvy Sub
4 years ago. February 23, 2020 at 3:27 AM

Recently I began a relationship with a new daddy who I adored. We both loved the same sort of kinks, got along well and texted daily. However, my baby girl instincts picked on something and they unfortunately turned out to be correct. 

I have limited experiences with Daddy's at this stage in my journey, but from what I understand a Daddy's role is to nurture, guide, support, protect and help his baby girl be the best she can. Obviously there is the physical/sexual side to the relationship too. 

Anyway, so what happened was this: I had a bad day at work in which I made a mistake that I was terrified would cost me my job as I was on probation. My anxiety was of course making a mountain out of an mole hill and I turned to him for support. I told texted him that i'd had a bad day and I was worried i'd lose my job. All that he said to me was, "oh no, I hope not." He didn't ask what had happened or tried to reassure me. 

The next day he simply messaged me, "Are you okay?" to which I replied, "No." And I wasn't because I was mad with him. I felt let down. 

When he texted me again, I did explain that he had upset me and he never replied back. 

In my eyes he has failed me. 

The mistake I'd made at work ended up being fixed in ten minutes and I didn't face any consequences because, as it was so rationally pointed out to me by my fiancé, I was new and hadn't been trained sufficiently so the blame couldn't be placed on me. He made me see the situation without my anxiety goggles.

Now at this point you may be thinking, why did you turn to your daddy first instead of your fiancé? Well on that day I got home to an empty house, as my fiancé was on his way home and I was in a panicked fuelled state and simply messaged my daddy because he was available. It's as simple as that. 

I'm glad I found out early on that he wasn't really a daddy, and so my journey can continue...

 

CHB

4 years ago. January 31, 2020 at 12:37 AM

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

Bonnie Tyler - I Need A Hero

 

When I was 23 I met my first boyfriend. Yes, I know, late bloomer. He was six years older, quiet, friendly, liked to read and workout and he was studying at University. We hit it off, but took it slow. We hit a few bumps in the road and we got over them and fast forward 7 years we're now engaged with a newly purchased house. Good for us right? Well...yes and no.

I have a problem. 

I love my fiancé with all my heart and for a long time I've felt that he's the one, after all, he's been there for me through my worst and we know each other so well. However, I was young and so inexperienced when we started dating and didn't know what I wanted in a man, but now I do. 

Now I understand what I need from a man and it scares me to see that my fiancé doesn't match up to that anymore.

I need a man who's confident, assertive, can make decisions easily, light-hearted, kind, funny, can guide me but most importantly can own me. I need a man who will dominate me and use me for his pleasure. I don't want vanilla, but that's what I have and I'm not sure what to do.

If I could go back to when I was 20-25 I'd look for a Dom because the BDSM lifestyle is what I crave and on some levels I regret where I am now. 

My fiancé would die for me, as I would for him so don't get me wrong, it's just I feel torn between the lifestyle I want and the lifestyle I have. He's also aware of the dominance I desire and he has tried to fulfil that but it's just not part of him. 

So what do I do? Is there a Dom out there willing to take a confused sub like me that's already promised to another man? 

I need my hero...