Thick Thighs

Inside the Mind of a Curvy Sub

I Need a Hero

4 years ago. January 31, 2020 at 12:37 AM

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

Bonnie Tyler - I Need A Hero

When I was 23 I met my first boyfriend. Yes, I know, late bloomer. He was six years older, quiet, friendly, liked to read and workout and he was studying at University. We hit it off, but took it slow. We hit a few bumps in the road and we got over them and fast forward 7 years we're now engaged with a newly purchased house. Good for us right? Well...yes and no.

I have a problem.

I love my fiancé with all my heart and for a long time I've felt that he's the one, after all, he's been there for me through my worst and we know each other so well. However, I was young and so inexperienced when we started dating and didn't know what I wanted in a man, but now I do.

Now I understand what I need from a man and it scares me to see that my fiancé doesn't match up to that anymore.

I need a man who's confident, assertive, can make decisions easily, light-hearted, kind, funny, can guide me but most importantly can own me. I need a man who will dominate me and use me for his pleasure. I don't want vanilla, but that's what I have and I'm not sure what to do.

If I could go back to when I was 20-25 I'd look for a Dom because the BDSM lifestyle is what I crave and on some levels I regret where I am now.

My fiancé would die for me, as I would for him so don't get me wrong, it's just I feel torn between the lifestyle I want and the lifestyle I have. He's also aware of the dominance I desire and he has tried to fulfil that but it's just not part of him.

So what do I do? Is there a Dom out there willing to take a confused sub like me that's already promised to another man?

I need my hero...

Dunimos(dom male) - Do not make the mistake of thinking the lifestyle will fill the void you feel now.
If this man would die for you, that sounds heroic to me. Maybe he is not as assertive as you desire, work with him... talk to him... serve him if he us the love of your life.
Or, follow your emotions and drift from fleeting moment to fleeting moment and years from now maybe you will realize the so called lifestyle is not a replacement for loyalty, love and commitment.
Talk to your man....
Be authentic, tell the truth and listen.

4 years ago

TalentedOptimist(dom male){open} - Under proper circumstances, I disagree.
I have been with poly and open women whose husbands supported certain needs and desires being met.

The committed servitude approach is fine when both people feel completely satisfied in all aspects of the relationship. There is nothing broken or wrong about this couple making a leap into taking pressure off the non assertive male, fulfilling a desire of the woman and finding out if they both can come out better on the other side of it. Talk it out, try the light stuff first then when everyone is comfortable and on board. Take that leap.

4 years ago

Dunimos(dom male) - Interesting perspective.
Thanks

4 years ago

masokitten(sub female){Not lookin} - Great fucking song

4 years ago

TalentedOptimist(dom male){open} - I know right? I was chimed in and then the post made that left. Now I'm confused. Do I need a hero? Or heroine?

4 years ago

LitAngel(sub female) - if he know about it why not work with him ? it doesn't happen over night it takes time and patience. Theres a lot of resources out there for him to learn bout the lifestyle. i hope you can guys work it out! good luck

4 years ago

TreasureMe(sub female){Sanguine} - So many facets to this... You could need this now and not need it for a lifetime. Can you live without your man? The one who will die for you and who you will die for? Do you really love him fully? Are you truly in love with him if you aren't willing to accept all he is? Is him being dominant more important than the love you two share? More important than everything else he already gives you? What if trying poly tears you apart? What if entering into the lifestyle is like Alice going down the rabbit hole?... never to wake... never to return to what was... Sometimes these decisions are pandora's box that we should never open and can't help but to open.

Gosh. I pray you find peace and clarity in this trial. Im here as a friend if you need one. *hugs*

4 years ago

Bunnie - Something to be aware of is that if you’re new to all of this, your concepts of what make someone a “Dom” may potentially be a bit “fantasy” based. This could also be the case with what you see as “submissive.”

Making your man a cup of coffee each morning exactly how he likes it, is submission at its finest (if this gives him pleasure).

Take away the ideas of whips and chains and spankings... and have a real honest look at yourself and your relationship.

What are you really seeking?

If he’s not satisfying you in bed... have that discussion. Explain what you’d like to experience. Perhaps you could even research what you like and print it out and sit down and go through it together. Make it fun. There are kink lists available online, or I have one I can share. Join your local community. Go to classes together.

My point is... you’re at the beginning. How big the void between you becomes is based on the choices you make right now.

4 years ago

CurvyHoneyBunny(sub female) - Thank you all so much for your comments, I'm overwhelmed by the responses I've received and really appreciate that you took the time to do so. As an update, I have expressed my concerns/feelings to my partner and we are working things out.

4 years ago

Dunimos(dom male) - That is great news!
Thank you for the update.

4 years ago

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CurvyHoneyBunny​(sub female)

Thick Thighs

I Need a Hero

CurvyHoneyBunny(sub female)