It's hard to breathe when I'm crawling out of this hole
I got my hands on the wheel but I'll probably lose control
I don't know how to feel and it's honestly hard to show
When I've been on tour so long and I'm constantly on the road
And a part of me wants to go disappear where I'm all alone
I guess I need to learn to stop partying at my shows
But I'm starting to learn since I put my heart in this I could grow
And I remind myself that I built this whole arsenal on my own
Motherfucker
Excerpt from "Feel my pain" by merkules
This shit is deep. Meanwhile sitting on the razors edge of another mental breakdown, watching trucks come and go, can't sleep. Brain is all fucked up. I been up 35 hours straight, can't close my eyes without flashbacks coming through and raising hell because this woman is engraved in my fuckin head. I have nobody else to talk to about these things because all I ever get is those "suck it up and take it like a man" or "get over it". Why do women see it fit to lure men in and then crush their confidence that they've already had a hell of a time trying to build back up.
Why is a good man thats supportive, caring, loving and has taken literal bullets for his significant other always the one that ends up getting shit on.
Fuck this mental health. I want it to all go away.
My heart hasn't been right for the last five years. Emotionally frost bitten. Dont give a fuck anymore.
I fuckin deserve to be happy like everyone else.
I fuckin deserve to feel appreciated
I fuckin deserve to have confidence
Im fuckin over this shit. Pain is all my eyes behold.
