I have been contemplating random stuff recently, late-night ponderings and somnolent reflections, and sparked a train of thought...
I always try to display my affection and appreciation in a way that resonates with the other person. My personal preferences and feelings are secondary to ensuring that the other person feels valued and cared for.
For example, gift-giving could be my preferred love language, but baking a loaf of bread may not hold the same significance for someone who values physical touch. I would prioritize what they need, provide for them in the way they need it, and ensure that they know how valued they are. I would hug them, hold them, and only after they have been reassured of my feelings for them would I give them the bread.
Consider this: if someone were to express their preference for words of affirmation, yet I refrained from doing so due to concerns about appearing insincere, this could leave them feeling unappreciated and questioning my feelings toward them.
I know what they want, they've explained as much to me, but I chose not to consider it because our interpretations on the matter differed.
"How much can this person truly care about me; how in tune with me can this person actually be; how attached can this person really feel if they don't see the value in making sure I feel heard, seen, loved, known, and cared for?"
Well. . .
It is possible that on a conscious level, they are aware of your feelings toward them. However, it is the subconscious mind that often harbors doubts and insecurities. When someone's preferred expressions of love are disregarded or given little importance, it can subconsciously convey that "I must not be significant enough to this person for them to truly care about me."
Have your own love languages, create your own if they don't yet exist, and embrace them with open arms. But embrace other's, as well. If someone is communicating to you what they need, and you have the capability to fulfill those needs without compromising your own well-being, it might be worth temporarily setting aside your personal feelings in order to provide reassurance, comfort, security, and support to someone you care about.
It is possible that you have a significant impact on another person's life, sometimes without even realizing the true extent of it. A small gesture from you, demonstrating that you value their emotions and take their feelings into consideration, could have a profound effect on them.
Sometimes all a person needs is to be shown that someone is listening.
"[Love] does not insist on it's own way..."
