It has, for many years now, been in the BDSM "scene". It had one very long term Master in a poly household and would have considered itself a slave at the time but really it was more of a submissive. its a professional, mature woman and It has some idea of what it wants for the rest of its life, but needs direction and purpose. A true north star, a Master who will mold it to be what he desires. It wants to live for his pleasure and to serve his needs as a slave.
I have found a mentor. He has been guiding me toward its desire to be a perfect slave for a future Master, should it find that person. We have started with taking away any masks that it carries in the outside world to strip it down to its basest self, a thing or an it. How it eats, how it shops, how it conducts itself when its not working...all of those things are changing. All of them are expanding its view of who it is and what it is.
It turned its hall closet into a cell for itself. It wanted a cage but the cell is even better because it's dark and has a door that closes it off from the outside world. For the past few nights it has slept in the cell for long periods, 12-13 hours. It also spends time in there during the day. It is becoming a desired place to be, for quiet, peace and reflection. It is always in some kind of bondage in there. Cuffs, chains, always gagged (inside or outside of the cell) and, at night, hooded with a leather sensory deprivation hood.
Last night, it was in the most strenuous bondage yet. Hands cuffed and attached to one set of chains and feet cuffed and attached high up on the other set of chains. In this position all it could do is sit mainly on the back of its ass. it is kept in a diaper to protect the floor as it is not allowed to release itself from its bondage until the time he sets. It is also plugged.
After it got itself attached to various chains and got its hood on and snugged tight it just sat in complete darkness, immobility and silence. Now it was panic time...those first few minutes when it realizes it is in for the night, unable to move, unable to speak. It wrestled with its thoughts for the first few minutes...I don't actually know how much time passes...and then it started its mantras. It is a slave...this is where it belongs...over and over and over...like a meditation...making it feel like it is a true slave, making it true. It goes from that to tears to a few minutes/hours of sleep and then back and forth...feeling the pain in my limbs of its immobility, determined to not fail itself...saying the mantra, wondering how much time is left and on and on through the long hours. it does not know how long it slept. It does not know how many hours it is awake. All it is aware of is darkness and silence and pain. It wakes up and takes the hood off and finds a message from him... let me see your face. It takes the picture and it looks into its own face and all of the emotions on it. Is it becoming a true slave it wonders? At that moment all it can think of is the pain and that it has to get ready for an appointment quickly...
And pleasure...happiness that it survived it. Happy that it proved it could overcome anything and not give in to its fears and moments of weakness when it thought how it could so easily just take the hood off for a short time. Each day feeling stronger, not weaker. Each day looking forward to its time in its cell.
It wonders what way it will be trying to sleep tonight...
