Tonight I am sitting at my desk at work. I have just begun my night shift and I have more than a few hours remaining to my shift. Tomorrow when I arrive home I will encounter a situation that I do not desire. To be blunt this next week is going to FUCKING suck!
But at this moment in time I have a few options ahead of me. I can choose to be a similar person of my past, I can approach the problem in anger, I can approach it with distrust, I can even approach it with any number of negative emotions that fill me right now.
I have a few other options in my bag as well. I can approach this situation as an opportunity. Bad things happen in life, we CANNOT avoid them. Traumatic events happen, people die, we make mistakes and choose poor paths for ourselves that create destruction in our lives and around us. To each one of us there is something in our life, in this moment, or one from our past, or one that will occur in our future that creates an obstacle. A mountain that blocks any way forward for us. A demon that holds sway over our thoughts and actions.
It's what we do when faced with those moments that makes us who we are. The best way to look at the situation is based on the comparison of our previous self. Knowing this situation I will be walking into tomorrow I can already choose how I will approach it. I can be pissed off and angry, or I can try and handle this situation better than my previous self. I can be cool headed and calm, I can choose that for me. That might be difficult especially when I let my emotions begin to dictate how I react, instead of responding. So knowing myself and where some of my shortcomings are I can begin to prepare.
We are all fools, which I think is a really positive thing. We WILL fail, over and over. It's apart of being human. We must accept this. We have to realize this truth about ourselves and look at it in the face and stare it down. The thing we must remember is to fail upwards. Try something, and learn from your experiences. Learn what to do, or maybe learn what NOT to do. And maybe repeat that process of learning what not to do, until you finally understand exactly what TO do.
Life is a giant mess and everyone will have struggles and problems that are specific to them. Ultimately we must learn to overcome what we can by ourselves. Of course we can ask for assistance and guidance from those around us, our trusted friends and family. Maybe even some strangers who hold similar kinks and can understand where our minds are. But if we are not able to strike out and stand up for our own well being we have lost the game of life. Motivation cannot be achieved from some outside source, it must be driven from within for significant change to occur and to remain!
My parents told me to brush my teeth when I was a child after breakfast and before bed. My entire life during my youth my parents asked me "Did you brush your teeth?" As a grown adult responsible for my own well being there is no one to tell me when to brush my teeth, or to take action in my own life. That choice is all mine. I have unlimited potential in this moment to make any decision for myself. I can choose to stare at my personal demons and scoff at them! I can choose to be better than I was previously!
I'm tired of allowing the darkness of my past to rule my present. I am not the same man I was 3 months ago, and I won't be the same man in 3 months time. But where I go, who I become, the mistakes I make are all mine to choose. We should not fear failure but embrace it as the most intelligent instructor. We can improve and make better choices, and so long as we stumble forward with an open mindset we can become that better version of ourselves.
It's not easy, and no matter what you face just remember it may be tragic and hard to overcome but we cannot let it break us. We must always do our best to move forward, even if that next step ends up with our face on the pavement. Because even falling down is progress.
We must move forward on our own, but there are people here with experience that could offer insights into our own turbulent strife. Be open minded and tolerant of those around you, offer your support if you think it may add value or benefit to someone else. Remember we are all human, and sometimes we do need a little assistance to pick ourselves up. Offer what you can and who knows it may help you learn something about yourself too.
We have all the potential in the world to improve who we are, and once we decide to take that for ourselves there isn't anything that can take it away from us. So let's work on banishing our demons, on building that resilience within ourselves. But we must also be open to the thought of accepting help from those that offer it during our times of crisis. Be pragmatic about your situation but recognize that there is an amazing community that we can help build up to offer words of council and support. Let's create a safe space where everyone feels included to vent their frustration or ask embarassing questions. We should not judge those who lay themselves bare in front of us, but appreciate their courage and offer our strength to them.
To those that have taken the time to read this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Let's work on being better by ourselves, and together. Because we all have that potential.
