I have made drastic change in my life lately. I have made consistent change (it's been over a week I think? Which is huge for me because I tend to do things well for a short period of time and then fall into habits of allowing things to get past me)
I am thinking towards my time and how to organize and utilize it more efficiently.
I am looking to improve my household and continue to strive to make my surroundings better.
I have plans to organize and decorate my gaming room EXACTLY how I WANT!!!
Not only have I been looking at my life in more positive ways but I'm looking for the good within myself.
I had a friend who challenged me to find 5 things that I BELIEVE to be my best qualities and abilities. What is it about myself that is awesome? I spent a few minutes meditating last night before my shower. I was sitting on my toilet in the dark with my eyes closed and in my head I was thinking I should shower, but I felt a very relaxed sensation spread all throughout my body. I felt like I was already meditating but I focused my breathing and took myself into another world. It was myself. The universe that exists within me. For the longest time that place was a void. A black expanse that was void of any love, of any vision, of any clarity.
In that moment I didnt find my 5 best qualities but I allowed myself a moment to briefly experience the good that is within me. The radiance that I possess. It shifted that pure black nothing void, (the way I blinded myself to my own good seeing none of my potential and past success) but now that I'm beginning to love and appreciate and respect my worth as a person. I looked at my past and for a brief moment the universe that exists within me lit up with colour. Shifting in brilliance and radiance, a myriad of light that began to move and dance within my universe. The entity that makes up my existence. From the thought process to the physical limits that encapsulate *ME*. Everything lit up and I exuded light. It felt like it lasted minutes but it passed in just a few seconds. Suddenly everything was black again.
At that point I tried one more visualization practice and then I got into the shower.
Normally when I shower I try to finish as quickly as possible, it's a job to clean yourself. Last night I took the time to enjoy the sensation of the warm water and how it felt to appreciate myself and to take care of my physical self. I took the time to simply appreciate being clean.
Anyways, today is Friday. But when I got to work this morning (2 minutes late because I had to water my plant this morning since I didn't do it last night) I took the time today to register for a course.
I'm attending Harvard!!!
Well I'm actually auditing a course that I find extremely interesting. I have barely begun the first lesson and have to head out to do my job but even just registering for the class has me excited and eager.
I haven't felt this way since I was a kid, in so many ways. I've wanted to get back to being a little more carefree, and I am making progress. I feel like someone who is finally able to take responsibility in his life, and deal with what is necessary.
But I still have a very long way to go. I'm just putting a few more pieces together.
Anyways, time to get to work. Have a wonderful day!!!
